Brave Sir Glenn has gone in search of warriors to help in his fight against the evil Shadow of Obamanation. His travels have taken him to the site of the Republican Party’s Election Day Massacre. A dark figure stands in the midst of the carnage. Sir Glenn doesn’t recognize the Black Knight, due to the bucket on his head.

Sir Glenn: “You read with the smooth and practiced words of many men, Sir Knight.”

[The Black Knight doesn't respond, which is very weird]

Sir Glenn: “I am Glenn of Beck, of the Order of Reagan.”

[No response]

Sir Glenn: “I seek the bravest and the finest knights in the land to join me, to fight the smiley faced fascism, which spreads across our fair land.”

[No response]

Sir Glenn: “You have proved yourself a worthy adversary. Will you change your views and join me?”

[Still, no response]

Sir Glenn: “You make me sad. So be it. I shall now go back to Conservalot, the Shining City on the Hill. I know… it’s not a very good name. But it does have a grail-shaped swimming pool.”

[Sir Glenn attempts to get around the Black Knight, who draws his sword ]

Black Knight: “None from the Radical Right shall pass.”

Sir Glenn: “What did you say?”

Black Knight: “No Republican shall pass!”

Sir Glenn: “I’m not a Republican. I’m a Conservative, and I’ve no time to parry words with you any longer, Sir Knight. I must go back. I have a show to do on Fox.”

Black Knight: “Fox is it? Then you shall die.”

Sir Glenn: “In the name of the Founding Fathers and the Constitution, I command you to stand aside!”

Black Knight: “I move for no old, balding, white man.”

Sir Glenn: “If you didn’t have that bucket stuck on your head, you’d see the only thing you had correct was the white part! And it’s doughy white.”

Black Knight: “Don’t bother me with your “facts”.”

[Sir Glenn draws his weapon and they fight until he cuts off the Black Knight's tiny penis with the Sword of Righteousness]

Sir Glenn: “Now, stand aside. You have been neutered!”

Black Knight: “‘Tis but a scratch!”

Sir Glenn: “Yeah, in this case, that’s true, but it is your peter laying on the ground after all.”

Black Knight: “No it’s not.”

Sir Glenn: “Yes it is. I can see your detached, little Vienna sausage resting in the leaves on the forest floor, like an expired goldfish. It’s gone ‘yon to that Great Veil. It’s dead as a doornail. A fallen soldier, never to salute again. Roadkill. Worm food. A past tense baby maker. Cold as a witch’s bosom. It’s an ex-peter!

Black Knight: “No, it isn’t! That’s not mine.  It’s…It’s  Hillary Clinton’s.”

Sir Glenn: “Please. I don’t think so. Hillary’s is much larger.”

Black Knight: “OK then, it’s Michelle’s.”

Sir Glenn: “Yuck! That’s sick!”

Black Knight: “Come on, you homophobe!”

[They fight again. Glenn cuts off the Knight's right arm]

Sir Glenn: “Victory is mine!”

[Sir Glenn kneels to pray]

Sir Glenn: “We thank thee Lord, that in thy mercy…”

[The Black Knight picks up a teleprompter with his remaining hand and arm, and swings at Sir Glenn’s head and misses.]

Black Knight: “Come on then, Bible Thumper. Fight me like a…a…citizen of the world.”

Sir Glenn: “What? I’ve cut off your arm.”

Black Knight: “I’ve had worse.  Anyway, I don’t need my right arm. I need nothing on the right. I’m a Lefty!”

Sir Glenn: “You are indeed a left-handed fool, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine!”

[Sir Glenn cuts off the Black Knight’s left arm]

Black Knight: “Oh, had enough, then eh?”

Sir Glenn: “Look, you stupid socialist. You’ve got no arms left. It’s over.”

Black Knight: “I’m the Black Knight! I’m too big to fail! I’m omnipotent!”

Sir Glenn: “You’re a raving moonbat!”

[Sir Glenn pushes by the Black Knight]

Black Knight: “I have two good legs. I can still walk on water! I’ll chase you down wherever you go and kick the dog crap out of you.”

Sir Glenn: “Whatever.”

[Sir Glenn cuts both of the Black Knight’s legs of with one swing of the Sword of Righteousness]

Black Knight: “Come back here bigot! I’ll do you!”

Sir Glenn: “With what? Besides, do I look like Barney Frank?”

Black Knight: “It’s because I’m half black isn’t it? Fine. I win then, you racist.”

Throwing Down the Gauntlet: Since our President can give one speech in Cairo and change the course of events in the Muslim world, I believe we too can influence the views of, at least, a few. Come-on Rush, just admit you read Radioactive Liberty and use us for show prep. I heard you mention Scrappleface the other day. We’re funnier and you know it. Fess-up.

Category: Political Humor Tags: Glen Beck, Holy Grail, Humour, Monthy Python, Obamanation, Parody, Political Humor, President Obama satire, The Black Knight