I’ve been noticing more and more political commercials lately where some empty headed celebrity endorses some sort of equally empty headed hint at how you, yes you can help stop global climate change. What is that change exactly? Is it warmer? Cooler? Warm in the summer and cold in the winter? Backwards in Australia?

Just what the fuck is climate change? Second. Why should I give a shit if I can save .000000003 kilowatt hours by switching off a reading light when I step out of the room for a few minutes? To he degree I even care, what I care about is my electric bill. Not saving the planet from climate change™. So, no. I won’t be using reusable toilet wipes.

I’m going to get real serious here for a second, so pardon me. Or don’t. I don’t really give a shit. When I’m dead. I’ll be DEAD. As such, I won’t care about ANYTHING anymore, because I will be incapable of caring, being that I’m dead, and all that. See there, that’s pretty much the definition of being dead.

So, the priority is quality of LIFE. In case you missed it, that would be the quality of MY life. Yes. I’ll be the evil conservative asshole here. Fuck the rest of you. I care about myself. ME. ME. ME.

The thing is, the rest of you denying that that is what your life is about. You’re either 100% full of shit. Or you’re deceiving even yourself. Even when it’s about other people, it’s really all about the self. Our ability to form relationships, as humans, is solely because there is a benefit for doing so. It’s still about the self, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

So, if it’s all about ME, and MY quality of life, then why shouldn’t I ask for a little better evidence that catastrophe is looming right around the corner than some sappy bullshit commercial with Noah Wylie telling me the polar bears are losing their habitat. I was buried under more snow yesterday than I can remember in my lifetime. Oh, but wait. The word of the day is climate change.

It’s not warming anymore. It’s Change. Perhaps part of all the Hope and Change promised by Obama. We get hope. Like, I hope I don’t lose the entire remaining balance in my 401k, because It’s already half of what it was 6 months ago. And change. We shuffle global warming under the rug, because it was all bullshit to begin with, and call it climate change.

Do people really just have no memory? It was not that long ago that the same vacant celebrities were telling us to shut off the power for an hour to fight global warming, but today, it is climate change we are fighting. What about the warming? Where did it go? Did we win the fight? Is it hiding in a corner? Did we kiss and make up? Is there some sort of treaty that was signed declaring a cease fire between humanity and global warming?

Come clean you disgusting bullshit artist swindling piece of shit pathetic excuse for human being rat shit con artist fuckers. There was never an ecological goal to begin with. The terminology changed for political expedience. Because there’s no warming. If there is no warming, and that was the hysteria. The issue is Dead.

Yes, Al Gore. The debate is over. Global warming is dead.

Category: Political Humor Tags: Climate Change, Conservative Politics, Editorial, Global Warming, Global Warming Hoax, Politics