Global Warming Hammers Country
Today, Global Warming brought an onslaught of snow and continuing cold weather to many areas around the Great Lakes, and in the Northeast United States.
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Now, I’m not a repository of quantitative data on what the weather is supposed to be like on November 21 each year, but there are a few things I recall quite clearly. I remember that I could never go snowboarding in winter unless I went to Vermont, because the temperature wouldn’t drop below 45 degrees, even in February. I would look at the weather report and scream at the television – “Just get cold enough for them to f^^king MAKE snow!” In fact, “most of Pennsylvania’s snowboard mountains close down in February or March.” Yet the skiing industry is booming this year.
I would travel 6 hours to Vermont, and still, I would be lucky if I didn’t wind up going over a rock that put a gouge the size of Springfield Gorge in the bottom. That is, if you could even actually go. Slush has a tendency not to conducive to going fast.
I also remember, as recently as 2 years ago, going to the beach in the middle of October. People would think this is odd, but it’s only 3 weeks after the end of Summer, and it’s actually usually warmer than it is 3 weeks before Summer starts, especially the water temperature. You know, like Memorial day weekend, that people think is the official start of Summer
This year, instead of going to the beach in the middle of October, I was pulling the winter coat out of storage. The temperature hardly ever gets above 45 degrees. The Global Warming People’s Temple Cult and Inquisition won’t see any of this as relevant. They’ll just charge me again with heresy for daring to question the validity of human caused Global Warming.
I know, it makes me stupid to think that humans might not be that important, or powerful. Clearly the entire Universe revolves entirely around us, and the Earth has always been in a solid state, right up until humans ruined the perfect balance with their evil technology. The sun, ocean currents, and volcanic activity are not factors at all, of course. Except to heretics.
The fact is, we are now in a cooling cycle, and the global warming moonbats will find some way to finagle that into being caused by global warming. Mark my words. We’re in for some sort of unbelievable logic that will tell us it’s getting so cold because of all the damned global warming.
How is global warming treating you this year?
I also suggest continuing to follow the facts about global warming thread. I get some real zingers on that. Subscribe to its comments.
More Global Warming Humor: Global Warming Shuts Down South Dakota
Update: Global Warming has waged a vicious attack against southern Louisiana. JumpOut has more details.
Category: Political Humor Tags: Caustic Sarcasm, Global Warming, Global Warming Satire, Humour, noads, Political Humor
2004–2012
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We got hit with an inch of Global Warming yesterday, here in Central Oregon.
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I had to turn on my furnace today for the first time, in Middle-o-Mitten. The first (almost real) snow came on the 16th, and a lot is still out there.
We already know the script to be given proving it’s all our fault. They laid it out in The Day After Tomorrow, remember? We caused the global warming that melted the ice caps that changed oceanic salinity that caused the NAC to wreak havoc on something else and all hell broke loose when 3 monster storm centers (amazing how they formed – unevenly spaced – only over landmass of northern continents and nowhere over an ocean or even over the poles – where *I* would suspect if this scenario were plausible – I guess that didn’t fit the story line…) that caused Dennis Quaid to panic because the President didn’t evacuate and most of us died and Dennis had to get his son out of New York (so Sela Ward wouldn’t beat his ass). Then the President blew those damn alien spaceships right out of the air. Oh, wait, wrong show.
BUT… the LA twisters were wicked SPFX. I had to roll my eyes at the atheist clutching the Guttenburg Bible and proclaiming it was ONLY because it was the first book ever written and he needed to save a small piece of Western civilization…. And it was all gooey sweet that Sela stayed behind with the sick boy, knowing she was going to die with him (until rescuers showed up, of course), but there are so few people possessing true compassion that (IMO) the “unwanteds” (young or old, sick or otherwise a “burden”) wouldn’t even get benefit of being stacked like cord wood while “the fittest” do what they must to survive. It’s, like, animal instinct.
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It amazes me that we peaked in 1998 and are moving down the thermometer, yet everyone thinks the planet is still warming.
This will go down as the second-biggest hoax ever, right behind the idea that oil is a finite resource.
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I had to add an extra blanket.
I have had to actually button my coat (hate that).
I’ve had to use the heater in my car, too. Hate that even more.
Grrrrrrrr! What happened to our warm falls? Winter is going to be a bitch this year.
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I hate snow. Please make it go away. I wanna be warm again
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Well it’s warmer here today, mid-30s. Despite Al Gore’s hot-air filled demands to cool-it, I’ll keep my electric heater going or releasing CO2 through the hole in the ozone layer, produced by my wood burning stove.
This is Les James, or possibly his new alternate persona Capt. Carbon
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The new speak is that CO2 causes climate chaos. “We did not mean warming”, but meant chaos. Warming causes cooling. Therefore, warming, cooling and doing nothing are the severe catastrophic consequences of CO2.
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Unfortunately Al Gore has cut me off from his newsletters after finding out I subscribed under multiple accounts in order to have kindling for my wood stove.
Isn’t burning paper to keep warm recycling? OH crap I just realized that puts more CO2 in the air.
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You know what else puts CO2 into the air? Breathing. The damn dirty hippies better stop so they can save the planet.
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we could encourage the hippies to plant more hemp, it consumes carbon dioxide.
I have also heard that it makes good biofuel, softer t-shirts, and better paper, and better brownies.
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Let us for a moment consider the “Little Problem” hidden in plain sight by CO2 screamers: Methane.
Methane is a potent greenhouse gas; in fact, it is MORE potent than CO2. We don’t hear about it simply because it is not (yet) found in as large quantities as is CO2, the effects of methane having been “slightly overlooked” for decades with regards to global warming.
I read an article a while back advising a shift to vegetarianism, to slow global warming by decreasing methane emissions from agricultural sources.
Now, let me tell you, cow s#it is some seriously powerful stuff! Rather than ELIMINATING animal agriculture, we should be promoting it as an alternative energy source, as is done at one of our nearby farms:
http://www.greenmeadowfarms.co.....gester.htm
For some time now, admissions have been made (ever so quietly) about the contribution of methane to global warming; however, I have noticed little mention made of two documented sources of massive methane emissions into the atmosphere:
1. Melting of frozen methane trapped in ocean beds and permafrost.
2. Living, “breathing” plants (you know, the ones that covert CO2 into oxygen so we need more of them, amen and hallelujah!) release more than oxygen into the atmosphere; they also release methane, and in GREATER QUANTITIES than decomposing plants.
Until we get straight answers, we’re never going to get a straight solution. Examination of the geological record shows global temperature shifts throughout “prehistory,” quite obviously no fault of man and his technology.
But who am I to talk? I’m just another asshat.
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Throughout history, the hight priests have asked for sacrifice to appease the gods. Now is no different. You are being asked to sacrifice to appease the god of climate chaos.
First it was the god of warming, but we have clarified it is actually the god of chaos. Chaos is warming, cooling and no change.
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[...] Global Warming Hammers Country [...]
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want the winter… Tryskavets, Ukraine