Political Humor | Global Warming Has Been Dead for 11 Years

Conservative Political Humor|Satire|Parody

Global Warming Has Been Dead for 11 Years

The BBC reports that Global Warming died a horrible, embarrassing death in 1998. Since that time, the Earth has “unexpectedly” cooled. According to the report:

For the last 11 years we have not observed any increase in global temperatures.

And our climate models did not forecast it, even though man-made carbon dioxide, the gas thought to be responsible for warming our planet, has continued to rise.

How utterly shocking! It’s almost as if the Global Warming Hysteria agenda was a purely political movement, contrived to inflict fear in the general public and allow worldwide governments to pass legislation designed to limit the liberties of their citizens.

Let’s analyze. Since this is one of AlGore’s pet projects, we’ll transform one of his own speeches. Carbon dioxide has gone UP! Temperatures have gone DOWN!

Here’s a key statement “Our climate models did not forecast it.” Let’s see, who here could have predicted that the computer model predicting the weather could have possibly been wrong? Anyone.

Oooh! Oooh! Pick me! And what did I get for my efforts? In my Facts on Global Warming post, the enlightened “Cynthia” had this to say:

Wow, you are a moron my friend. That’s ok though one day you will look back at this post and say oops… oh well my bad!

Oops isn’t exactly the word coming to mind right at the moment. What else is there? “Tiago” says

everyone who said global warming is a hoax and especially whoever wrote this article…you are all a bunch of drooling morons

Let me get you a towel to wipe up that drool, my friend. Thankfully “Informed Reader” was impervious to the media propaganda and had these sage words to say

Well, all I have to say is this author is a complete idiot. I would wager a guess to say they never graduated from college as well seeing as he does not have to ability to look at facts and see them for what they are.

Or not. Hey, did you know that Einstein was kicked out of school for asking too many questions? Clearly the man was an idiot.

We even had a special appearance by “Guy Who Knows More Than The Author.” I’d quote him, but he had to get back on the short bus and go home.

Thousands of years ago, Nug Nug looked at the sky and said “Big ball of fire in sky make hot.” They didn’t even have a word for “science” yet, and still Nug Nug had his scientific method down far better than the so-called “Scientists” of today.

Back to the BBC article.

Sceptics argue that the warming we observed was down to the energy from the Sun increasing. After all 98% of the Earth’s warmth comes from the Sun.

Wow! 98% huh? That’s almost ALL of it. Yet, still the priesthood of the New Religion of Global Warming Hysteria claim that, and I quote, “Warming in the last 20 to 40 years can’t have been caused by solar activity.” Now that’s incredible, as in the opposite of credible. What did this guy get his degree in? 12th Century Japanese Poetry?

Fortunately, the BBC has the good mind to make sure we all know that there is some renegade out there questioning the general consensus. He’s probably the next unabomber or something based on the introduction he received.

But one solar scientist Piers Corbyn from Weatheraction, a company specialising in long range weather forecasting, disagrees.

Just a single, solitary scientist questions the veracity of man made global warming. A lone gunman, if you will. Thankfully he’s the only one, right?

He claims that solar charged particles impact us far more than is currently accepted, so much so he says that they are almost entirely responsible for what happens to global temperatures.

Nug Nug, is that you? Let’s recap, the Sun generates 98% of the Earth’s heat, which is almost all of it, and this guy wants us to believe that “solar charged particles” are responsible for almost all of the Earth’s heat? Like, maybe 98%? Put the guy in a mental institution! “Guy who knows more than the Author” said he’s an idiot. And you know that’s a credible source.

We were force fed a steady diet of global warming propaganda on the basis of a scientific model that failed to produce accurate predictions. I thought that a model that didn’t make accurate predictions meant that the hypothesis was wrong. What does ScienceBuddies have to say about the scientific method?overview_scientific_method2
See that part where it says “Hypothesis is false or partially true.” It seems to me that it winds up circling back around to “Construct new hypothesis.”

Big ball of fire in sky make hot. Nug Nug’s hypothesis still holds true, even after tens of thousands of years.

Perhaps it’s time we finally gave The Great Global Warming Hoax it’s eulogy. Offer your eulogy in the comments section.

Category: Political Humor Tags: , , , , , , ,

12 Responses to “Global Warming Has Been Dead for 11 Years”

  1. Chris C says:

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    Sweet a climate change post! Nothing brings out those lacking any knowledge of basic science and physics like this topic.

    On a side note I was waiting on a table of high school kids the other day and one of them was talking about how there’s less water on the planet then there used to be because, ready for this one, water vapor escapes into space.

    A facepalm moment if there ever was one.

  2. Eric says:

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

    NO, NO, Say it isn’t so! I just got my application in for a $50million grant from the govt. green office to develop LED invisible IR inside house warming eco friendly light systems. What the hell am I gonna do now that they know it’s all a hoax? DAMN, missed it by THAT much. Oh wait, it’ll take ten years for them to figure out it’s a scam. Nevermind.

  3. Eschatonic says:

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    Oh no! if the science does not show evidence for global warming, that means the push for cap and trade that results in third-world devastation due to rising food costs and allows wall-street speculators to parasitically feed off the efforts of industry by trading a ‘commodity’ with no productive value whatsoever will be fraudulent!

  4. Mike says:

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

    Dear Global Warming Conspiracy Theory,

    Please die.

    Respectfully yours,
    Mike

  5. Les James says:

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    Uh, OK, uh…mmm, when Global Warming dies, like, mmm…. what temperature does it go it? You know, like room or what?

  6. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    [...] and Mary has released a new version of the classic Where have all the flowers gone? Lamenting the Death of Global Warming, Pete shares these heart-felt [...]

  7. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    [...] and Mary has released a new version of the classic Where have all the flowers gone? Lamenting the Death of Global Warming, Pete shares these heart-felt [...]

  8. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    [...] and Mary has released a new version of the classic Where have all the flowers gone? Lamenting the Death of Global Warming, Pete shares these heart-felt [...]

  9. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    [...] Global warming is dead, and if you knew your facts on global warming, and asked a few intelligent questions about global warming, then you would know that the climate change fairy is not real, so it won’t be on any global warming top 10 lists. [...]

  10. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    [...] Global Warming is happening. Duh! It’s been happening since the end of the last Ice Age. Apparently this is bad. Man didn’t cause it, but we can stop it. [...]

  11. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    [...] Global Warming is happening. Duh! It’s been happening since the end of the last Ice Age. Apparently this is bad. Man didn’t cause it, but we can stop it. [...]

  12. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    [...] Global warming is dead, and if you knew your facts on global warming, and asked a few intelligent questions about global warming, then you would know that the climate change fairy is not real, so it won’t be on any global warming top 10 lists. [...]

Leave a Comment