How You Can Help Save the Planet
Steps to Combat Global Warming
Life, as we know it will no longer exist in 20 years. Coastal areas will flood. Mountains will slide into the oceans. The air will be toxic with CO2. Humanity is to blame for this impending catastrophe. Humans who have created Global Warming.
You can minimally increase the amount of time we have by taking drastic measures that ruin the quality of life to which you are accustomed. I know that many of you are skeptical that humans are the cause of global climate change, but the evidence presented in An Inconvenient Truth
“Technology is not the solution. Technology is the problem.”
Can you truly be so selfish as to think that the massive reduction in comfort and convenience isn’t worth it? Even when there is a tiny possibility that it might have a negligible impact on creating an insignificant effect on the unlikely global calamity we’re facing? If you think so, why are you so self-involved that you won’t consider the ramifications of your actions on future generations?
There are some who say that the global warming trend is totally natural. They say that the Earth warms and cools in a cyclical fashion, going to and fro through periods of warming, then cooling, then warming again. Some say that increased activity of the Sun is responsible.
Don’t believe the propaganda of the Fear Mongers who only wish to profit from scaring you and feeding you platitudes that everything is OK. Don’t believe the doomsday profiteers that just want to use reassurances of security and safety to boost the bottom line for their corporate shareholders. Annihilation is imminent, and none of us will survive.
So what can we do to have a nominal impact on global warming?
Give up electricity
Technology is not the solution. Technology is the problem. I’m sure that we could all just do fine without heat in the winter, or air conditioning in the summer. On the commune, we simply huddle together to keep warm. When it’s hot, we weave reeds together to make fans, and take turns fanning each other. You will also have no further need for refrigeration when you follow the next suggestion.
Grow a garden
You should be eating fresh, raw, natural foods anyway. Animals are not here to serve us. We are here to serve them (Baked, boiled, broiled, or barbecued. Yum. ~Fiar). Growing a garden not only gives you the food you need to nourish your body, but it nourishes the spirit as well, as you commune with Earth Mother tending to her bountiful vegetation.
Renounce running water
Personal hygiene is over rated. Gaia provides us with all the water we need from natural sources. At the commune, we can identify each other, merely by sense of smell. It’s the way Nature intended.
Travel by foot
Do you really need to go somewhere that is too far away to walk? I live by the credo that if it is too far to walk there, it’s not worth going at all. The most I ever need to travel is out to the woods when Nature calls. Sometimes I’ll even just contribute to the garden by adding a little fertilizer.
Just by taking these few drastic steps to alter your way of life you can have a diminutive effect on our ominous extermination. It’s critical that we adopt these proposals without delay. Life hangs in the balance.
Humor-Blogs.com understands that you can’t hug your children with nuclear arms.
If you want to help save the planet, read more satire.
Related: Saving the World with Puppies and Kittens
Flowers and Hugs
Promoting Free Speech
Bloodthirsty Babykillers Slander Patriotic Americans
Global Warming and Narnia
Category: Political Humor Tags: Global Warming, Global Warming Satire, Humor About Saving Our Planet, noads, Overpopulation Satire, Planet Warming, Political Humor, Satire, Satire Global Warming, Save the Planet
2004–2012
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Is walking water OK??
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You forgot to not eat meat. How can you be a good libtard if you eat meat? How can you have any pudding if you don’t beat your meat?
Wait, that’s not right…
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We could always blow up the sun. That would take care of that warming problem.
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[...] is knowing that we can save the world from a cataclysmic climate change catastrophe by taking drastic measures that ruin the quality of life to which you are accustomed. digg_url = ‘http://www.passionateamerica.c.....oom/'; [...]
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This is why Obama can’t be president! We need a nuclear winter to fight terrorists AND global warming!
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Thanks Flowers Bloom, I followed your advice and stopped wasting water by taking showers. Its been 1 month and I no longer need to worry about unnecessary sex with my wife. The friction caused by sex and the absence of burning desire will save the planet it no time*
* no time means more than likely 150 years.
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I heard Obama say that if he was president, he would sit down and meet with Global Warming to try and work out our differences. Of course Hillary shrugged this move off, stating: “Global Warming needs growth-stifling legislation, not propaganda moments with problems.”
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Yo, Flowahs! I bought a SU-Frakin’-V, today. Suck on that tailpipe, you herb smokin’, smelly, non-hair washin’ hippie!
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Wild Bill, That’s fantastic. I’m also pleased that you are doing your part to save us from the danger of overpopulation. Thank you.
Chris and ChrisC, Obama’s plan to negotiate is so simple it just could work.
RT, you seem angry. Have some chammomile tea.
Redneck, I said not to eat meat, but Fiar ruined it by saying they’re tasty.
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That’s just weird. Flowers Bloom‘s comment wound up in the spam filter. I don’t know if that means Akismet is smart, for filtering the retarded hippy, or stupid for filtering one of my authors.
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Have you tree-huggin, fish-kissers realized that NAMBLA is a ‘green organization’? You wont find any unwanted pregnancies over there, just some bald-headed, back-haird forty something men all hunkered over a strapping 12 year-old boy. Talk about enviromentally freindly.
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Frankj wants to nuke the moon, RT wants to nuke the sun…
When will the madness stop!?!?!?
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Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
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[...] Global Warming Satire [...]
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[...] Global Warming Humor [...]
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[...] How You Can Help Save the Planet [...]
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[...] How You Can Help Save the Planet [...]
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[...] Humor About Saving the Planet [...]
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[...] How You Can Help Save the Planet [...]
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[...] Global Warming Satire [...]
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[...] Satire Global Warming [...]
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[...] How You Can Help Save the Planet [...]
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[...] Global Warming Humor [...]
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I do have unique idea how to stop global warming at once and bring climat as was in 1900
Belive or not inaraly to you.
Best regards Zoran Vorotovic
Contact by mail on zoff@cg.yu
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hi i am doing a school project on social commentary and i chose global warming as a topic. i was wondering if i can use this piece and also i need to cite this scource. so i think i need your name for that. thank you
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[...] Obama Administration has suggested a bold plan to save the planet from global warming. There are many that seem to think that filling the air with pollution in order [...]
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its easy to save our planet from cataclismic global warming , messures are already in place and are about to reduce c02 considerably. glbal warming as we know is brought on by us all over using energy,buying useless things created buy mostly heavy industry we dont need , leaving appliances on driving for the sake of it , the sollution is take peoples money and make them so they cant afford to do such things ,how do you do that , well thats damn easy if your the government all you do is strike a deal with the banks worlwide to cause a global reccession that almost instantly stops spending , (just ask the motor industry ) mmmmm now the c02 emmissions are being reduced considerably and the planet is on a slow road to recovery how will the government susain its population on state benifit alone ???????? good question , well they have got a pot left over from the bank deals but is it enough to sustain the population ? probably not , SOLUTION reduce the numbers of people on state benifit . we as adults of a certain age 16 40 like our comforts in life popping to the pub going for long drives to the beach ,BUYING UNNECCECARY THINGS WE LEAVE THE LIGHTS ON USE DEODERANTS HAIRSPRAYS TAKE FLIGHTS ABROAD ON HOLIDAYS all things that create more co2 emmissions than our other counterparts ie;children and the older generations so we as an age bracket are not only the ones wasting more money but we are the ones creating the most co2 so i think its only fair that if the govenments got to get rid of some peopl it should be us , how to do that ???????? well going to war after a global reccession has started is not a very well thought out idea as no one has money for that PLUS WER TRYING TO SAVE THE PLANET NOT BLOW IT UP WITH NUCLEAR BOMBS that will just undo all what the government is in the middle of doing !!!!!!! and if you havent worked it out yet i will tell u THEY HAVE THE SOLUTION TO GET RID OF US , US BEING THE CO2 MASS CREATORS BY INTRODUCING NONE OTHER THAN MR H1N1 VIRUS , THE VIRUS THAT DISCRIMENATES AGAINST HEALTHY YOUNG ADDULTS AS ITS MORE SUSEPTABLE VICTIMS. WHY DO YOU THINK HARDLY ANY COUNTRYS ARE TAKING IT SERIOUS ENOUGH GOVERNMENT SILENCING AS ALWAYS . BE PREPARED TENS OF MILLIONS WILL DIE. brandmiester@googlemail.com
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Tungsten FOREVER!
http://conservolab.com/Shirtpa.....orever.htm
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[...] You might not make any green, but you can learn how to be more “Green” as a dirty hippie offers these tips on how to save the planet. [...]
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