Got MLK? James Earl Ray Did

January 19th, 2009 by Les James · 32 Comments ·

Caution: The following post contains mean spirited sarcasm and black humor. Liberals should not attempt to read this without the help of a trained, conservative guide, restraints and amble medication. Side effects may include, nausea, vomiting, uncontrolled anal discharge, bleeding from the eyes and ears, increased inter-cranial pressure, screaming fits of rage, lacerations caused from broken keyboards and monitors, spotty hair loss, genital warts, and very rarely, a chuckle.

obama-has-a-dream

I Wish I Could Have Met You

Today is Martin Luther King Day or as a good friend and pastor likes to call him, Martin Lucifer King. Oh, was that politically incorrect? Try this. Go back and you’ll see he was just another bleeding heart, liberal that got in the way of a speeding mass of lead.

Still, his death sure opened the doors for his family didn’t it? Funny how that works. JFK buys it, and now his daughter thinks her Senate seat is paid for.

Rumor has it, that Caroline K and MLK the third are going to record a duet. They’ll be covering Filter’s Hey Man, Nice Shot. All of the profits will go to their bank accounts favorite charities.

Those crazy kids.

The Rule of Three Initials

RFK murdered. JFK murdered. MLK murdered. W only used his middle initial. Nobody knows who GWB is, so by the Rule of Three Initials, he was pretty safe.

However, not all of the one or two initial Presidents are immune from close calls with sudden on-set heavy metal poisoning syndrome.

Squeaky Fromme tried to off Ford -so ineffectual a President, he managed not to screw-up the country any further, that he should be considered a Republican hero. And then there’s John Hinckley Jr. His poor marksmanship is cause enough for a statue in the far-left hall of fame. By missing Regan, he was instrumental in getting the Brady Bill passed. Thanks, John.

No wonder Barack Hussein Obama doesn’t want his middle name mentioned. LBJ and FDR dodged that bullet but why take chances. Besides, what psycho’s going to want to be remembered as the guy who got rid of BO? Unless you’re a deodorant company exec.

obama-bo

Now I’m not saying that profit is bad. Far from it. A lot of individuals and organizations have made a tidy sum on the deaths of influential people. Elvis, like a lot of other musicians and artists, are worth more now dead than when they were alive. Why not score on that? The Catholic Church -as well as many other sects- have made major bank on the backs of their dead religious figures. Some have even opened banks.

Who am I to begrudge them a little pocket change? They’re doing God’s work, right?

A Day by Any Other Name…

MKL Day, huh? Fine, he gets a day. Lincoln and Washington -arguably far more important in our country’s history- have to share one. Even Jesus only gets one day. Why do we give Martin a whole day to himself? Because we needed another holiday? I don’t thing so. Still, don’t try to get anything done with all major institutions closed and the kids underfoot.

In celebration speeches across the nation, Obama -who already thinks he’s Lincoln- will undoubtedly be touted today as the new King. With his coronation tomorrow, I’m sure he’ll even draw a parallel or two himself. Don’t get me wrong, I think we should celebrate this man’s life but not for the reasons most liberals would like to consider.

Some will try to tell you we commemorate this day because he was a nice, black guy who just wanted us all to get along. [Rodney King (no relation) wasn't very original was he?] Then again, you might believe Martin Luther King died trying to right civil wrongs. Fine you can look at it that way if you’d like. As I mentioned earlier, I have a different take.

I’m going to celebrate his life (and subsequent death) in a manner that will have secularist holding their heads and wailing “Noooo!” For I believe today was intended to be a celebration for a Holy Man of God, who was struck down for his religious beliefs. That’s right, you followers of Radical Islam, today our government shut down the nation to honor a Christian martyr.

Stuff that in your jihadist hookah and choke on it.

And you that thought I was politically incorrect.

More Les James humor can be found at Sideshow Mirrors.

Category: Caustic Sarcasm · Humor Tags: Humor, Humour, Martin Luther King, MLK

32 responses so far ↓

1 Fiar // Jan 19, 2009 at 10:29 am

But wait, I don’t believe in ~~Osiris~~, ~~Hercules~~, Jesus.
2 Snigs // Jan 19, 2009 at 11:52 am

Les is more. This proves it. Although you forgot to list chronic halitosis as one of the side effects liberals might experience reading this.
3 Steve // Jan 19, 2009 at 12:03 pm

Once again you have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that you all are on the wrong side of history. It is doubtful your hate filled mind set change be changed.

The conservative movement is much more like a bowel movement. The only way to fix it is to flush it all away. Obama will pull the handle.

Tomorrow will change everything forever. I suggest you put down your laptops and do something useful if you want to survive. I’ve a suggestion to keep you all occupied. Learn to swim.
4 JumpOut // Jan 19, 2009 at 12:24 pm

George, do you pay someone to remind you to breath, or do you use a machine for that?
5 Snigs // Jan 19, 2009 at 12:27 pm

Oh FFS Steve. You need to get a grip on something besides your minuscule manhood.

Yeah, we all need to know how to swim- especially since all you liberal pansies will be crying multiple rivers when you realize the Obamasiah isn’t going to lead you all to the Promised Land.
6 psychochick // Jan 19, 2009 at 12:33 pm

What is “amble medication?”
7 Chris C // Jan 19, 2009 at 12:43 pm

Steve you are not holding up your end of the deal here buddy. One comment in the last twelve hours? Come on man.

Unlike you I have a job and I still found time to comment more then you did in the last 24 hours.

Did Starbucks close early? Did your mom have too many chores for you to do?
8 JumpOut // Jan 19, 2009 at 12:44 pm

amble medication is what you take to prevent you walking aimlessly down the street. Not to be confused with pre-amble medication which most liberals take to make sure they don’t understand anything in the Constitution except promote general Welfare.
9 Steve // Jan 19, 2009 at 12:54 pm

No Starbucks didn’t close early. In fact I just finished a latte at one in Oakland. I was enjoying the company of a few old friend from the Grey Panthers. In a little while we’ll take the Freedom Train over to attend a rally at the Bill Graham Civic Auditorium, the themes is “The Realization of Hope.”

After that it is off to UC Berkeley to catch up with other good friends there at a small peace rally. I do not want to upset your delicately balanced belief system any further, so I will just say, Peace and Love to you all.

I know you hate me but today of all days please try to be nice to someone will you? Hug a stranger. Show you can care about someone other than yourselves.
10 Super Liberal // Jan 19, 2009 at 12:58 pm

Steve back off. This is my turf and I’m fresh outta meds.

You haven’t even lived through true discrimination like I have with my pet transgendered ferret either.

I’ve seen the hatred of the neocons close up and personal.
11 JumpOut // Jan 19, 2009 at 1:25 pm

George, have a nice day with your useless waste of time. I hope you and your hippie friends get tasered repeatedly at your “peace” rally. “Themes is”? I guess you didn’t have to take many English classes to get your Masters in Psychology from Stanford. BTW, when at Stanford, did you have to hide in your dorm when you learned you were on the same campus as Dr. Sowell and you peed your pants, or were you there prior to 1980? War and hatred back at ya, buddy.

You’re right, though, on Robert E. Lee’s birthday I should be honoring his accomplishments instead of making fun of a vapid, empty fool filled with prejudice and bigotry.
12 Chris C // Jan 19, 2009 at 1:36 pm

“No Starbucks didn’t close early. In fact I just finished a latte at one in Oakland.”

Man I thought it was a stereotype but moonbats really DO blog from Starbucks.
13 David // Jan 19, 2009 at 1:39 pm

Who the hell is this George you all are yammering about?

Your invisible friend or your imaginary friend?

By the way, I’m still dismayed that you haven’t figured out how to correctly spell the name of the God of the GOP and their most heinous jihadists, the Neo-cons. Hint: It is supposed to have two A’s.
14 Les James // Jan 19, 2009 at 2:18 pm

Fiar knew I was illiterate when he hired me. I thought he proof-read this stuff. I go over a post like 15 times and still don’t see all of the mistakes. Leave it to the bright folks who read this drivel to find the errors. But you’re not very polite to point and laugh.

Sorry to have seemed to have dropped off the map but I took a couple of days to do a little camping. Nowhere near a Starbucks. It was supposed to be a nice weekend. Not. I came back early.

Let’s see if I can answer a few pressing questions and comments without going back and adding to previous post.

JO- Yes I do use crayons, but at least I CAN draw. Thank you for the letting me in on your special formula for removing white-out from a monitor. You told me it worked well for you. I’ll admit I was skeptical at first…

RT- Me and Steve the same person. That hurts. I thought we got along better than that. Fiar and JO the same person? Fiar only pretends to be a dick.

Speaking of Steve, that ass-wipe is still hanging around I see. As much as it pains me to do so, I echo JO’s comments.
15 Glenn // Jan 19, 2009 at 4:21 pm

“Once again you have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that you all are on the wrong side of history. It is doubtful your hate filled mind set change be changed. ”

If there is a repository of hate that “change be changed”, it is the American left, who have ALWAYS been on the wrong side of history, like all those Democrats who defied desegregation and fought against the civil rights movement. Now, Democrats ironically count MLK as one their own.

“The conservative movement is much more like a bowel movement. The only way to fix it is to flush it all away. Obama will pull the handle. ”

C’mon – really? You really put this up? This stupid analogy? Obama will pull the handle? Did it take you a long time to think up this gem?

“Tomorrow will change everything forever. I suggest you put down your laptops and do something useful if you want to survive. I’ve a suggestion to keep you all occupied. Learn to swim.”

I don’t know what swimming has to do with anything, and I’ve been able to swim since childhood, anyway.
16 Les James // Jan 19, 2009 at 6:04 pm

Steve-You’re a frikkin’ Tool.

Hey Glenn, here’s some more, Steve is a plagiarist on top of being a worthless pile of dog s#1t. I suspect his college work was copied verbatim too.

The only way to fix it is to flush it all away. I’ve a suggestion to keep you all occupied. Learn to swim.

I had to go back and check. I thought I recognized this. It’s lyrics from Ænema, a song from the band Tool. How totally fitting. What a douche bag!
17 Snigs // Jan 19, 2009 at 9:35 pm

Y’all sure are mean to Les.

Not that he doesn’t deserve it…
18 JumpOut // Jan 19, 2009 at 9:49 pm

Of course he deserves it, and I am, after all, an agent of justice.
19 Snigs // Jan 19, 2009 at 10:11 pm

No disrespect meant Jump, because I’m quite in awe and support of all law enforcement folks, but damn, images of Buford T. Justice just flashed through my head reading that.
20 JumpOut // Jan 19, 2009 at 10:17 pm

Ha!

“Junior, the first thing I’m gonna do when I get home is punch yo momma right in the mouth because there is no way…NO WAY you could be from my loins!”
21 Snigs // Jan 19, 2009 at 10:23 pm

I use that line on my kid when he’s acting like a total twerp quite a bit…sans the “punch yo momma” part.
22 Les James // Jan 19, 2009 at 10:50 pm

JO – I give up. I’ll roll over submissively and you can sniff my crotch.
23 JumpOut // Jan 19, 2009 at 11:44 pm

Homo.
24 Les James // Jan 19, 2009 at 11:51 pm

Queer
25 Snigs // Jan 20, 2009 at 12:03 am

Gentlemen, gentlemen, please. It’s always fun until someone puts an eye out…which could easily happen if Jump starts sniffing Les’ crotch.

What would your mothers think? Tsk. Tsk.
26 JumpOut // Jan 20, 2009 at 12:40 am

Did you just backhandedly insult les’ manhood?
27 Snigs // Jan 20, 2009 at 12:59 am

Not at all. I only do things backhandedly ~~are~~ in tennis.

If you think about it, it was a rather forthright insult in that it inferred you’d sniff Les’ crotch which he’d enjoy and thereby put your eye out whilst you were close enough to sniff…
28 Snigs // Jan 20, 2009 at 1:00 am

Due to my inability to edit my posts, please subtract the word “are” from that 2nd sentence.
29 Les James // Jan 20, 2009 at 9:10 am

OK, here’s the deal. Today is the crowning of the king. I’ve been asked to kind of keep y0u up to date on what’s happening. Fiar was forced to work by “The Man” , Chris C is unaccounted for and JumpOut…

I’d like to call a cease fire for today but that guy is like the Palestinians, I expect he’d just keep firing his ineffectual missiles in my direction.

A little later the coverage will begin.
30 Glenn // Jan 20, 2009 at 9:48 am

Les James – Plagarist? Impossible! Are you telling me there are TWO people that stupid??!!
31 macdee // Jan 22, 2009 at 12:25 am

Steve//:

Don’t be such as p#@$!. You are such an arrogant, smug, obtuse, self-righteous, self-absorbed, liberal….Sorry, that was redundant. Anyway, have a sense of humor. I mean, we have heard nothing but hate-filled attacks against Bush and Cheney, and even their families over the past 8 years, with very little humor and satire, and much more literal, animus directed at them. So, relax and laugh at yourself and the black community for once. If we are at the point that we can’t make any jokes about a black president, but it’s Katy-bar-the-doors when it is a conservative (i.e. Sarah Palin, George W., Dick Cheney, and their families), then we are in for a very boring 4-8 years. Get over yourself.
32 cold soldier // Jan 27, 2009 at 10:54 pm

“steve” you are really in your parents basement in your boxers eating cheetos arent you?

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