1a. Bette Midler slams ‘wild and woolly slut’ Britney…
Well, I wouldn’t say woolly…I’ve seen the pictures. Britney is not a mongress…she hath no pride.
1b. Paglia: Madonna Gave Britney the ‘Kiss of Death’…
Well, it was Madonna’s kiss or Frank J’s breath…one or the other.
2. NOW JIMMY CARTER ACCUSED OF ‘PLAGIARIZING MAPS’ IN PALESTINE BOOK…
Finally, maybe now people will realize what a mess and screw-up he is. Oh wait, that didn’t occur to people over the last thirty years?????
3. McKinney Introduces Bill to Impeach Bush
Yet another example of non-mongress behavior. “I’m a whiny, sore loser of a dingbat. I have to make things all about me and do something else that makes me look dumb and insane.” Well, that’s what I think allegedly runs through her mind.
4a. Speak up, sir…You need the extra small condoms?
Hey, Frank J; you have company!!!!!! (see below) [Hmmm....maybe this is why liberal and devilcratic men are so angry and whiny all the time.]
4b. Oversized condoms a headache for many Indian men
Again, another reason why I like American men [well, not liberal, devilcratic American men]….although, Frank J seems to have issues germane to him. I believe it is due to his baconless diet.
5. Endangered turtle found in Vietnam
After 45 years or so, the final member of the French military is found hiding under a rock in Vietnam.
6. Group: China has most jailed journalists
Gee…could it be the lack of free speech? They don’t eat bacon, either, do they? Too much friggin’ soy and tofu.
7. Sex-Based Roles Gave Modern Humans an Edge, Study Says
Duh….what works in Monger-land© should work everywhere. Now, go out and hunt me down some pretty jewels!
I hear Frank J is still searching for his role, though. He doesn’t know which sex he is.
8. Court Reprimands New Delhi Over Growing Monkey Menace…
Frank J and his extra-small condom buddies are causing problems on a global scale!
9. Excerpts From Letters to Santa
“Dear Santa,
I am a lonely boy from America. I try to be funny and make friends, but I can’t. I want to help in a political way, but I lack the nads. For Christmas, could you please bring me a new friend to call my own?
Sincerely,
Frank J”
Sadly, Frank J forgot to put the stamp on his letter and Santa will never visit him.
10. Slayer’s War-Critical “Eyes of the Insane” Gets Grammy Nomination
The Chief Mongress hopes that Jethro Tull is not nominated, too. We all know how that one ends.
The song is about some of the realities of war and is based on a true story. Hmmm…it is not about Satan? A metal song not about Satan? Al and Tipper Gore will be disappointed.
(Btw…Feb. 17-House of Blues–Atlantic City)
2004–2008
2 responses so far ↓
1
FIAR
// Dec 11, 2006 at 11:17 am
The Chief Mongress hopes that Jethro Tull is not nominated, too. We all know how that one ends.
Some of the youngsters may have no idea what you mean. I do. But some of the younger folk may not
2
RT - Chief Mongress
// Dec 11, 2006 at 10:53 pm
Frakin’ Metallica lost a Grammy to Jethro Tull for best “metal act.” Ugh! I laughed and cried at the same time. I believe they kicked butt on stage, though.
Oh…every time I saw an Indian, today…I giggled to myself and thought, “damn…sucks to be you.”
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