For Heath Ledger the worst thing about being dead - besides the not-living part - is that he will be forever known as the Brokeback actor. I know people are going to argue that his last role as the Joker will be the one we remember.
I would agree with you, except my mind is busy trying not to compare his final performance to Beetlejuice.
And what the hell was up with the massage therapist calling Mary Kate Olsen first? Apparently she needed advice on what to do next. I have never stumbled upon a dead body but I’m pretty sure I know the protocol.
- Don’t touch the body except to see if they are alive.
- Call 911.
Two easy steps.
When you are someone who felt the cold body, yet assumed Ledger was merely unconscious, would it be a too much of a reach to know what to do in that kind of emergency?
Last week:
- A dog saved a man from a fire.
- A cat dialed 911.
- Birds opened doors.
Yet a human dropped the ball.
The animals are clearly better at emergency procedures than humans, which is scary. What if they turn on us and use their advantage against us? Like in Planet of the Apes.
“C’mon Lassie, open the door so I can get out of the burning house.”
“I’m sorry Chris I can’t do that.” The dog says, ordering the parrot to clutch the doorknob thus preventing me from opening it.
Of course all I hear is barking so I have no idea the dog said that. The animals are sneaky that way.
There is no truth to the rumor that Mary Kate Olsen previously instructed the therapist to call her whenever a celebrity dies so she could get some free publicity out of it. Sure, it sounds macabre but famous people always ride the coattails of anything in the media for some attention.
Just ask Green Day. One of the many bands that used ‘Canon in D’ to create one of their most successful singles ‘Basket Case.’ It is no surprise that a group on its way out chose to hop on something familiar to go platinum.
Did Crosby Stills Nash and Young use ‘Ohio’ to create press for a world tour? Was Bob Dylan using the message of ‘Subterranean Homesick Blues’ to sell records?
In the end, Heath Ledger will be remembered for the guy who overdosed on six different meds and played a gay cowboy, while the rest of us got exposure from talking about it.
All aboard!
Chris Cameron’s other works of oddness, debauchery, and silliness can be read at Humor by Angry Seafood.
Humor-Blogs.com mourns the loss of Heath Ledger. Go there now to pay your respects.
2004–2008
11 responses so far ↓
1 Fiar // Jan 24, 2008 at 6:57 pm
This reminds me of the song, “Mama, don’t let your babies grow up to be gay cowboys.”
2 RT // Jan 24, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Fiar, the gay cowboy would be the “Rhinestone Cowboy.”
3 Andy Fanton // Jan 24, 2008 at 10:05 pm
I don’t know about you guys, but I ALWAYS call one of the Olsens whenever there’s a medical emergency.
The other day I was on the toilet, and I thought I was highly constipated, and would never be able to poop. One quick call to the Olsens, however, and they bored the shit right out of me.
Truly, they are miracle workers.
4 RT // Jan 25, 2008 at 12:01 am
I call them for weight loss and fashion tips.
5 Chris C // Jan 25, 2008 at 1:29 am
once again nobody notices the obscure movie reference. Ah well.
Hehe bored the shit out of Andy.
6 Pope Terry // Jan 25, 2008 at 6:31 am
I love a good bandwagon. Personally I think I would of called Joan Rivers, if anyone can give advice about how to enjoy life whilst your a corpse its her.
7 Jeff // Jan 25, 2008 at 1:20 pm
I was saddened to read that some anti-gay homophobic morons are planning on protesting at his funeral, because… ?
Sorry, I don’t have the imagination to understand stupidity that deep.
8 BrentD // Jan 27, 2008 at 9:39 am
Hey, if you are going to get your pets from HAL’s discount homicidal animal shelter instead of a respectable outlet, don’t blame us for your fate.
As for the protest, there are a lot of movies that I didn’t care for, but it doesn’t offend me that the actors involved will someday be buried in the same Earth as me.
I’m pretty generous with my planet, I guess that’s why I have 6 billion freeloaders.
9 Fiar // Jan 27, 2008 at 10:30 am
I couldn’t imagine protesting a funeral period. That’s just sick. Even if the person actually was gay, as opposed to an actor portraying someone gay. I don’t even care anyway. What’s it to me if a dude likes to get it on with other dudes? Nothing. That’s what.
10 Fiar // Jan 27, 2008 at 10:36 am
Just to add to this. I don’t know Heath Ledger as a person, but I am not aware that he ever murdered or raped someone, and I never heard of him defrauding anyone of their life savings. Nor anything else that would be worthy of true contempt.
He played make believe for a living. He did that well enough to make a name for himself. I don’t see a reason to feel scorn for that.
11 jim // Feb 1, 2008 at 5:15 pm
goddamn, jesus fucking christ. i am so goddamn sick of stupid fucking homophobes opining. just shut the fuck up you ignorant mother fucker. besides, everyone knows the truth. as soon as we, the educated, read those highly critical statements about someone because they’re gay, or knew someone gay or they acted gay in a movie we see the red flag. yep, that bitch ass mother fucker was raped in the mouth by a fat ass, nasty cock when he was a kid. thyat’s why he has all that hate in his heart. or maybe he’s just a hypocrit and still sucks cock.
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