Helping the World with the Presidential Election Money
In 2004, the cost of the US Presidential election was just under $700 million.
This time it is expected to get even closer to a billion dollars with many predictions around the $800 million mark. Since all that money spent still leads to incompetent leadership, maybe we should think about what we can use the funds on to better mankind.
~ 47,086,521 months of a Netflix subscription.
Imagine all the people that could see ‘Legally Blond’ or ‘Daredevil’ with that. I am sure many villages in Africa have never seen classic films like ‘Curly Sue’ which is a shame because they are busy fighting off both AIDS and Muslim extremists every day.
They need a way to take a break from reality and watch a movie. Maybe if everyone in Darfur watched ‘Gigli’ there would have never been genocide.
Who knows, it might have made things worse.
~210,456,034 cigarettes.
With the amazing strides in medicine over the last fifty years people are living longer. But the last thing this planet needs is a population approaching ten billion and everyone living to like eighty. You think ticket prices for concerts are outrageous now?
Try adding more old people to the mix who want to see a Rolling Stones reunion in 2010. And don’t even get me started on the traffic.
We could use cigarettes to reduce the population by spreading more lung cancer around the globe.
~34,782,609 carbon credits.
At $23 a ton this is one hell of an investment. And if we push to get China to play ball on the next Kyoto we can sell them the credits for a hefty profit. Then we can buy more cigarettes.
~ 5,000,000 clowns.
Kids hate them and studies have shown childhood stigmas and fears often carry over into adulthood. Now what if you fought the war on terror with an army of them?
How would you spend $800 million for the betterment of mankind?
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Chris Cameron is a writer of odd things and in addition to his weekly guest post here every Thursday except when there is a full moon and it is in Scorpio, he writes for his own blog, Humor by Angry Seafood.
Humor-blogs.com does not have any ideas on what to do with $800 million. But go there anyways. Do it for Johnny.
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Category: Political Humor Tags: Election 2008, Election Humor, Humor, Political Humor, Politics, Presidential Election
2004–2012
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I would use the money to buy the American Idol franchise, and then take it off the air.
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Yah but then you’d have to replace it with another crappy reality show cause there’s no writers. Maybe my ‘Cringe’ idea?
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I would think that for that much money you could put a methane-meter on the back of every cow in the world.
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Even better-instead of methane meters we install audio equipment so their cow farts sound like humans.
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Yeah. That’s what marriage is.
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I think I would buy a big throne and help put someone on it. I tired of having the freedom to choose (some things. meow.) and want to live my life based on the daily-changing whims of one person.
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Send in the clowns . . . to Iraq.
Bawahahahahahahahaha!!!
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I can’t say for sure what I’d spend it on, but I sure wouldn’t give one red cent to the current crop of asshats running this time around.
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I’d use my money to help crack whores. Crack whores need love, too.
Well, that would only take half the money, since crack whores don’t eat much.
Hmm…I’d spend the rest on me. That would better mankind, because then I wouldn’t be working (opens up a job for someone else), I’d have a few houses (again, creating more jobs), and I’d need lots of electronics, cars, and a boat. Yep, I’d be creating lots of jobs.
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Macy’s gift voucher…
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Sign me up for the fatwa on J-Lo.
We could tie her to a stake in a jungle somewhere, and then while the jihad extremists have her surrounded, release giant ravenous man-eating serpents to finish them all off.
Not only do we solve many plaguing foreign policy problems, we can make a gizillion dollars marketing the whole thing as Anaconda 3: Snakes of Justice.
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I’ll put a fatwa on J-lo… god bless sexual innuendo
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What is funny is the Digg I submitted for this last week now has zero diggs. hehe think I might have touched a nerve with someone.
Now if I could just get a few hundred more people to react like that.
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I would use the money to build a giant rocket, and shoot Ron Paul into space.
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[...] representatives (notice I didn’t use leaders) to pick the locks on our money chest. Remember, we picked ‘em before they picked the locks … and our [...]
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[...] but to make it you need to take matters into your own hands. I once survived by going to Mexico and coming back as an illegal alien so try and think outside the [...]