By Chris Cameron

As the kids would say these days, ‘duyba-tee-eff’, and I couldn’t agree more. Perhaps the world is seeing the end of days.

Let’s look at the evidence.

First, Senator Craig says he is going to un-resign, un-plead guilty and un-run again for office next year. So, a man who pleaded guilty to soliciting sex in a public bathroom in a major metropolitan airport is going to pretend nothing happened. Craig is attempting to call ‘not it’ in the game of life.

Then the news came out today that they are making human/animal embryos. Perhaps this will help science research, or find out why cows fart more than humans. I don’t know, but it is kind of disturbing.

The furries will love this development, however. No more wearing animal costumes. They can actually complete their circle of insanity and go primal, literally, for their whacked-out fetishes.

Now we find out fumes from microwave popcorn can kill us! I can just see the detectives shaking their heads and writing down ‘popcorn’ as the cause of my death and commenting on the movie still playing in my DVD player.

It was The Illusionist by the way, and if you can figure out a way to link that to this post topic you are amazing, and I will mail you a cookie of your choice.

Seriously, I will actually send you an edible cookie but I can’t guarantee it will stay edible. Take me up on the challenge. I only have one though, so first one gets it.

As if all of this was not enough, Bon Jovi released their first country album. I feel like I have been kicked right in the pants on that one. To go from ‘Runaway’ to Nashville is just disheartening. I don’t know whether to cry, or just kick Mr. Jovi in the groin.

It was a lot like the feeling you got when you watched Star Wars – Episode I, The Phantom Menace for the first time. It was Life telling you another cool thing from your childhood was being crapped on mercilessly.

On a side note to Bon Jovi, if you go from rock to country, you can’t knock other musicians for a lack of talent, or make fun of music you admitted you’ve never listened to.

But as I wrote this, I prayed to God. I asked him to help us and he did. Really, he answered my prayers! In fact he answered all of our prayers and wishes.
D. James Kennedy, founder of the Moral Majority, died!

Everyone up in heaven is claiming ‘accidental death,’ but it looks like one of his heart vessels bursting was the work of foul play. I think I read somewhere that when God was asked about it, he just shrugged and said,
“I can not tell a lie. Jesus did it.”

God also told me that not only will the world never end, but he will personally ensure Bon Jovi’s CD sucks ass and nobody will buy it.

Chris Cameron is a humor writer. You can find his other works of twisted oddness at Nothing to See Here.

Humor-Blogs.com plans to buy the new Bon Jovi album. I plan to kick them in the groin.

Category: Humor