I am voting for Barack Obama and this is not a statement of political humor. I have decided that maybe it is better to be on the winning side. Just ask John McCain who offered to buy all the crappy mortgages.
Everyone wants to be a liberal or get their vote it seems these days and frankly being on the losing side sucks. So give me that Kool-Aid. I’m ready to become a moonbat.
Wow America is right. Buying a used car from Barack Obama is a good idea. Man this is some kick-ass Kool-Aid.
If the rest of the US wants Barack Obama to be President who am I to argue? I mean, millions of people can’t be wrong can they? Shhh let’s not mention the 2004 election. I’m not supposed to listen to facts. I’m voting liberal this year.
Being a man of ambition, I am also taking this a step further then most of my now-fellow moonbats. I have decided to take Obama and the Democratic Party into my heart as my Lord and Savior.
Jesus Christ? Never heard of him.
I feel even better then after drinking the Kool-Aid. It is like a weight is being lifted off my shoulders. No longer will I be burdened by blood pressure spikes when I hear anything Barney Frank says because now I am on his side. I can understand what he is saying!
I also now believe that a man of his competence should be in charge of our money. Besides, the liberal side has free money for meds.
Did you know they let you choose from a list of six anti-depressants? And you can pick up to three! No wonder why everyone is going liberal lately. The benefits are amazing.
So bring on that free health care. Make sure there is vision coverage because it’s so hard to get these days. Glasses are not cheap you know.
Give me a house loan. Don’t worry, I’m good for it. You say I’m not? The government will bail me out and if they don’t I’ll just call ACORN to legally prevent the bank from taking something they own 100% of.
Of course this is all going to cost billions and billions of dollars but Obama and the government being our saviors will just print more of it. Then we can have more free social programs. Then we can print more and more money and live happily ever after.
I’ve even got my moonbat script ready for protests and meetings. When they say ‘Bush sucks‘ I reply ‘yeah Fuck Bush I hate him too! Long live the Beast!‘
I also hear there are free haircuts.
The night time is the right time…the night time is the right time…
Chris Cameron writes this weekly column every Thursday here at Radioactive Liberty. He also has an odd and interesting humor blog, Angry Seafood.
Humor-blogs.com has funny blogs you can vote for your favorite earmark or a blog by a guy named Mark who’s missing an ear.
2004–2008
21 responses so far ↓
1
Les James
// Oct 9, 2008 at 12:26 pm
What flavor is that Kool-Aid? My suggestion would be Guiana Grape.
2
JumpOut
// Oct 9, 2008 at 12:36 pm
You gotta love that Jonestown Jungle Juice. Can we mix some bourbon with it, and freeze it like a daiquiri?
3
Angie
// Oct 9, 2008 at 2:55 pm
One can usually gauge who is a libtard by the Kool-Aid reference thrown into any political discourse: The vast majority are too ignorant to understand what it means and are simply regurgitating what they’ve been told (who’s REALLY been drinking it, eh?), how the reference originated and what it is in regards to (is the act of swallowing or the ignorance of history the ultimate liberal agenda????), or the fact that they are exploiting the deaths of a thousand people they never knew, never knew about, and probably wouldn’t care for in the first place. The truly stupid ones, though, are those who don’t even know that it wasn’t really Kool-Aid.
I spit, and I never swallow.
4
Fiar
// Oct 9, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Yes. It was actually Juicy Juice.
5
JumpOut
// Oct 9, 2008 at 7:10 pm
You know the bourbon really cuts the that cyanide aftertaste.
6
RT
// Oct 9, 2008 at 8:24 pm
I spit, and I never swallow.
See, you’re missing out on a natural source of protein. Well, unless you meant tobacco juice.
7
Chris C
// Oct 9, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Yah but Flavor Aid doesn’t have the same ring to it and nobody would get the joke.
Come on, the first rule of joke telling is having the audience get the punchline. Okay actually it is the second rule. First rule is never explain a joke or it makes it unfunny.
8
Fiar
// Oct 9, 2008 at 11:05 pm
No. Explaining a joke doesn’t make it unfunny. The need to explain a joke is evidence that it wasn’t funny to begin with (at least to the explainee). They’re two different things.
9
Alex L.
// Oct 9, 2008 at 11:40 pm
Free drinks and a haircut… SWEET!
10
Chris C
// Oct 10, 2008 at 12:01 am
“The truly stupid ones, though, are those who don’t even know that it wasn’t really Kool-Aid”
You mean the 900 people in Jonestown?
Jonestown member: “How come I feel weird after drinking the Kool-Aid?”
Jim Jones: “Haha that is because it is really Flavor-Aid.”
[Jonestown member drops dead]
Jim Jones: “I’m kidding. It was laced with poison”
11
Angie
// Oct 10, 2008 at 12:02 am
I hear what you’re saying, Chris, but I’m not looking at it in the shape of a joke (sorry, I’ve momentarily lost my sense of humor; some dirty hippie hijacked it and tried to sell it on eBay), since they’re not framing it as one. *I* know what it means, and *YOU* know what it means, so we can appreciate it in whatever form it takes. Intricacies of thought actually require THOUGHT, but *THEY* have no clue. They already done drank it up, so they just end up blowing chunks all over the rest of us. Personally, I always thought regurgitation was kinda gross.
On another note, I can’t help but wonder if it really WAS Kool-Aid but the folks over at the home company spread around some green to try to make the Jonestown association disappear, kind of like Whirlpool tried to “take care of business” when ole Billy Kemler took a ride in the sparky chair. Not that it would have made any difference, since people call all drinks of that sort “Kool-Aid” and no one’s even heard of Flavor Aid (except for poor people who can’t afford the real shit). Can’t be having a good, solid name associated with something “eeeeevilllll” now, can we?
12
Chris C
// Oct 10, 2008 at 12:42 am
Your lack of faith in Kool-Aid is disturbing.
13
Angie
// Oct 10, 2008 at 1:13 am
ROFL. Dude, I have SIX kids. Do you seriously think I would be any kind of mom if I didn’t buy them Kool-Aid? You know, with the SUGAR and the FRUITY FLAVOR. It usually works well as a diversion against the little shits stealing my Mountain Dew, which is even worse for their teeth and their hyperactive metabolisms.
Most of my nonsense is just all the crap backed up in the cesspool of my mind… its time to clean again, so I guess I better get in the mood to post something at my own place instead of littering the blogosphere with my little packages of psychological diarrhea.
14
Fiar
// Oct 10, 2008 at 6:33 am
Back ON topic
15
Chris C
// Oct 10, 2008 at 10:55 am
That video makes me cry. Obama for president!
16
JumpOut
// Oct 10, 2008 at 5:56 pm
Glenn Beck for President!
17
Insolublog
// Oct 10, 2008 at 6:54 pm
For president? How about… Caesar, Dictator for life! That is, until a fateful day in March, on the floor of the Senate.
18
Chris C
// Oct 10, 2008 at 11:55 pm
I’m realizing that writing a post saying I will vote for Obama is like being nice to weird people. They suddenly think you are their new friend because you paid attention to them.
19
Les James
// Oct 11, 2008 at 8:50 pm
And here I thought we really were friends.
20 Satire | Voter Fraud Is No Big Deal | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Oct 16, 2008 at 11:40 am
[...] I am Voting For Barack Obama [...]
21 Barack Obama is Evil « You Should Be Tasered // Oct 21, 2008 at 7:49 pm
[...] that’s who. It won’t be long before the whole congregation is room temperature from the Jonestown Jungle Juice. Granted, he kinda loses the hippie cred with all that negative, mellow-harshing, energy he’s [...]
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