There’s something seriously wrong with our immigration policies, as I will demonstrate with fake, but accurate accounts.
To Whom it may concern:
I am a 36 year old computer network engineer from Birmingham England. I would like to apply for American citizenship.
Sincerely,
Stephen Kingsley
7 Years Later
Mr. Kingsley
Thank you for your interest in becoming an American Citizen. We regret to inform you that your request has been denied.
Meanwile, at a bureacratic office somewhere in America
“Hello, My name is Miguel Ortiz. I have been in your country illegally for 7 years now, and I would like to become a citizen.”
“Done and Done.”
““Pardon me. Do I have to fill out an application or something?”
“Look down. It’s already stamped ‘Approved.’”
In Canada, Ibrahim Ali bin Muhammed and his friends are nearing the U.S. Border.
(Translated) “Just a few more steps, and we will be in the United States.”
“Then what do we do?”
“We tell them that we are survivors of the Taliban, and get a free education at Yale, where we will learn to creat computer viruses, and learn about nuclear fusion, and rocket science to build ICBMs. Aren’t the infidels so wonderfully stupid?”
“Yes, Praise be Allah.”
**
Trackbacked on Mudville Gazette
Tags Immigration, border, Security
2004–2008
8 responses so far ↓
1
von
// Mar 29, 2006 at 10:59 pm
Hmm…that’s funny…err…very sad…err…depressing. Like a big burrito of downer.
2
von
// Mar 29, 2006 at 11:10 pm
Oh my god. “A big burrito of downer…” now that’s funny.
3
Sssteve
// Mar 30, 2006 at 12:23 am
Right on as usual!!!
Von, That was great “A big burrito of downer” Funny!!!
4
tele64
// Mar 30, 2006 at 10:07 am
Absolutely.
5
FIAR
// Mar 30, 2006 at 12:26 pm
“Big Burrito of Downer”
Brilliant! Where did you come up with that?
6
von
// Mar 30, 2006 at 12:50 pm
Hah. It just came right off the top of my head. I didn’t even get it until after I posted it…
7
fmragtops
// Mar 30, 2006 at 1:58 pm
Damn it Fitch. How are you so right all the damn time.
8
FIAR
// Mar 30, 2006 at 3:10 pm
It’s both a gift and a curse.
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