I hate foreigners. Really, I do. I know it’s not “politically correct” to come out and say something like that, but it really needed to be said anyway. So there. I said it.
I don’t just mean immigration either. It goes without saying that I have no tolerance for people coming to America from other countries, but an even bigger threat to the American way of life - which is the best way of life ever to exist on this planet - Is the seemingly unstoppable continued existence of people from other nations; nations that aren’t America. This just cannot stand.
Do you realize that at any given moment in time, there are literally dozens of people on our planet that are not United States citizens. It may well be more. People do have children, after all, and by this point it’s conceivable that the non-American population of the world may now number in the hundreds. It’s a frightening thought, isn’t it?
Do you realize that all the wars we have fought have been against foreigners? All of them. That’s right. Without foreigners, we wouldn’t have wars. Would the Korean War have happened if there were no Korean people? Would WWII have happened if there were no German, British, Italian, Japanese, Chinese, Russian, Jewish, or Polish people? It seems rather unlikely to me that it would.
Americans don’t start wars with other Americans because we know that we live in the greatest country on Earth. One thing about being in such a perfect country is that people just don’t disagree on anything enough to go to war over it. It’s never happened and it never will, because America is great like that.
I don’t want anyone to misconstrue what I’m saying here. I stated that I hate foreigners, but I would like to emphasize that it’s a vehement, and visceral hatred. I don’t want to leave you with the impression that I subscribe to some sort of “I hate you, but as long as you stay in your ‘not America’ country, I will respect your right to live” philosophy. I most certainly have zero tolerance for the fact that there are other “not America” countries, and that actual humans are born there and live out their whole entire miserable lives in “not America.”
Sure, there are a few milquetoast, moderate, spineless, America-hating, socialist weenies that seem to think that citizenship of one of those “not America” countries is A-OK. Not me. I think that if you are so insubordinate, and insolent as to be born in a part of the world that isn’t America, you have no right to live. I don’t want you using up valuable natural resources. Those are for patriotic, America-loving Americans that were born in America and live in America, so stop breathing our air already, you not-America unAmericans that aren’t American!
One final note I will leave you with is that I really take offense to the use of polysyllabic words like “xenophobic” and “ethnocentric.” I lack the capacity to comprehend such complex words, and I unequivocally denounce the usage of such intellectually elitist terminology. Just try to keep it simple, and unsophisticated. Monosyllabic vocabulary only please.
It also makes me angry that I get called “xenophobic” and “ethnocentric,” because I don’t know what those big words mean. Plus, whoever heard of a word that starts with the letter “x?” Now you’re just making s**t up.
2004–2008
16 responses so far ↓
1
fmragtops
// Aug 21, 2006 at 11:34 pm
Damn you, Fitch! You may not have killed me, but you stole all my funny, you funny monger you! Dude, I swear that was my funny…I mean, I had some before you took it all. I swear! Monger.
2
Patrick Joubert
// Aug 22, 2006 at 12:07 am
I know you meant that to be funny but it’s the way I think seriously - oh okay when I’ve had a few drinks.
3
rt
// Aug 22, 2006 at 12:42 am
Funny!!!!!
4
von
// Aug 22, 2006 at 6:19 am
I don’t understand why you tagged it with “caustic sarcasm.”
5
a4g
// Aug 22, 2006 at 3:40 pm
You forgot the worst foreigners of all from the worst war we ever fought: Southerners.
Worse than that– southern Southerners.
Great. Now I have to go shower to wash off the stink of “Southern charm”.
6
von
// Aug 22, 2006 at 8:09 pm
I got some southern charm for ya, a4g!
7
FIAR
// Aug 22, 2006 at 9:23 pm
There was a war aginst Southerners?
When did this happen?
8
fmragtops
// Aug 23, 2006 at 7:59 am
I wish I were in the land of cotton
Old times they are not forgotten
Look away, Look away, Look away, Dixie Land.
In Dixie Land, where I was born in,
early on one frosty mornin’,
Look away, look away, look away Dixie Land.
I wish I was in Dixie, Hooray! Hooray!
In Dixie Land I’ll take my stand
to live and die in Dixie.
9
FIAR
// Aug 23, 2006 at 9:08 am
I don’t know where this “Dixie Land” is but it should definitely be on our terrorist watch list.
10
Afifah
// Aug 23, 2006 at 12:16 pm
Yes, what is this Place of Makers of Paper Cups you speak of? Is this another poor country that is an innocent victim of Bush’s illegal war? And why is a picture of a filthy Jewess now desecrating the holy link to Blogs For The Music With The Pumping Bass That Gives To Me Of The Ache Of The Head? And who is this bacon chewing Fitch who claims he is eternally correct? Surely Allah in his infinite mercy will smite this infidel for his arrogance!
Afifah!
11
fmragtops
// Aug 23, 2006 at 12:27 pm
Yeah, those southerners are bastards. Bastards I tell you! Just look at Phil Anselmo, Ronny Van Zant, ZZ Top, and Kirk Windstein. Southern bastards, every one of them!
Did I mention they all kick more ass in fifteen minutes than everybody else in the world ever?
12
Wild Bill
// Aug 24, 2006 at 4:37 am
Oh I defiantly condemn you for this post. Matter of fact I will no longer talk about how crappy your blog is on my show. You are an evil little man. Don’t bother calling my show either.
–Talk to you on Saturday night–
13 Acme Anvil Co. / I’m Not Xenophobic! I hate Foreigners // Aug 24, 2006 at 9:51 pm
[...] FIAR at Radioactive Liberty presents I’m Not Xenophobic! I hate Foreigners. [...]
14 Radioactive Liberty // Nov 10, 2006 at 1:50 pm
I Will Rule Everything!…
Frank J. has announced his agenda and Fmragtops has taken the gutless coward’s way out and bowed out at the first sign of competition. Now that I am not assured a position in charge of invading other countries to steal their oil - In fact, Fran J…
15
RT - Chief Mongress
// May 8, 2007 at 8:22 pm
Someone trying to tell you something?
Yeah. Spam filter needs work. ~FIAR
16
Kathy
// Jun 9, 2008 at 5:58 pm
I agree with what you said, except that we did once have a civil war. Our country is great except for all the disgusting foreigners with their weird outfits and odors, broken English (if any at all) and outright stupidity. I say close our borders and let all the others sink or swim. Let’s see how many of their disasters they survive without our handouts.
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