Political Humor | Is a War for Oil a War for You?

Conservative Political Humor|Satire|Parody

Is a War for Oil a War for You?

People often ask me,

How do I know if a war for oil is war for me?

Well, it’s simple really. All you need to do is ask yourself a few simple questions.

  • Do you drive a vehicle powered by gasoline or diesel fuel?
  • Do you use electricity?
  • Do you use petroleum byproducts such as plastic?
  • Do you pay more and more at the gas pump and wish you could do something about it?
  • Are you evil?

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, then a war for oil is a war for you.

Don’t we already have a war for oil, in Iraq?

Some unbelievably stupid people, mostly liberals, may want you to think so, but the evidence doesn’t support this claim. We’ve been in Iraq for several years now, but the price of oil continues to increase. The price of gas continues to increase. We have seen no evidence of benefitting from Iraqi oil, including the fact that the war is not being funded by oil revenues. A real war for oil would be funded by oil revenues. The logical conclusion, then, is that we have yet to fight a real war for oil.

Then why are we in Iraq?

I have seen such explanations as: Spreading democracy, removing a genocidal dictator, and fighting terrorism. These all seem like legitimate reasons to go to war, but I see no direct benefit to me in having America fight a war for one of these reasons. It does, however, seem like these are more likely reasons for why we are in Iraq than the “war for oil” explanation.

So how does a war for oil benefit me?

Since the eco-commies won’t let us drill for oil on our own turf, we are dependent on foriegn countries for our oil supply. By invading other oil rich nations, we will be able to exploit their natural resources for our needs. We will no longer be dependent upon foreign, and possibly hostile, suppliers, and we can still refrain from drilling in our own country. It should make all sides involved happy.

But don’t wars kill people? Isn’t that a bad thing?

Yes. Normaly it’s a bad thing for people to die, but only if it is for an unjust cause. I think we can all agree that there is no more important or just cause that the free flow of cheap oil.

What can I do?

You can show your support for a war for oil by joining the War for Oil Blogroll.

How do I do that?

Email fiar at radioactiveliberty.com (you can use the email me link in the upper left sidebar too) or leave a comment in this post with your site’s URL.

No thanks, I don’t need MORE crap on my sidebar.

That’s the beauty of it, there’s no reqirement for you to add any buttons, icons, logos or blogrolls. You can if you want to, but you don’t have to. If you do want one of those things, find them on the official Join Page.

It’s that easy?

Yes. It’s that easy, so why wouldn’t you sign up?

**

Trackbacked on Mudville Gazette

Category: Caustic Sarcasm

10 Responses to “Is a War for Oil a War for You?”

  1. fmragtops says:

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    I have a question. If we take over another country for it’s oil, won’t the econazis stop us from drilling there?

  2. FIAR says:

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    But they won’t be represented by the leaders of those countries.

  3. RichJ says:

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    If this has been a war for oil, we have failed miserably.

  4. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    [...] FIAR at Radioactive Liberty presents Is a War for Oil a War for You? [...]

  5. The Skwib -- an irregular and explosive weblog says:

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    The Carnival of Satire #32…

    Of course the big news in satire this week was Stephen ColbertÂ’s performance at the White House CorrespondentsÂ’ dinner (click here for details if you somehow missed it), but there was other satire out there and you will find some of it right here, at…

  6. FIAR says:

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    Agreed, Rich. I apologize that your comment got caught up in the spam filter. It has obviously been released.

  7. Q_Mech says:

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    Here’s another one to add to your list:

    -do you regularly eat food that grows more than a donkey-cart’s traveling distance from your house?

    Consider that many of the food items we eat, especially in winter, are trucked from across the country or across an ocean. That means that your food burned heavy fuel oil and/or diesel fuel to cover the hundreds or thousands of mines that span the gap between its parent plant and your gaping maw.

    Carry on.

  8. Q_Mech says:

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    ..make that “miles”, not “mines”. Or “kilometers” if you prefer.

  9. fmragtops says:

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    Good point.

  10. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    [...] shysters in Washington don’t want to tell you that almost all wars are about resources. War for oil? Damn [...]

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