Since FIAR has sold out and become a damn, dirty, stinkin’, hippy, I have decided to mutiny. How can I contribute to a site run by a hippy that hasn’t had a bath in two days. I condemn his dirty, stinkin’, hippyness! *Shakes fist in condemnation in the general direction of PA* I am aware that FIAR has been a good blogfriend to me. He worked harder than I did when I switched from blogsnot to AN Hosting, and he allowed me to ambush his readers occasionally with my crappy writing about impaling hippies, and he did most of the work on the Carnival of Comedy on Blogs For House. However, due to his newly found hippyism, I have carefully thought out this measured and proportional response.
I must apologize for any indifference this mustiny may cause to you, the RL readers, but this is the only way. Fortunately, I know where FIAR lives, and as you read this I am on my way to PA to promptly impale him. Since I have mutinyed this site, it needs a new name. I was thinking of Fmragtops Liberty. I don’t know, what do you guys think? Leave suggestions in the comments section. Thatisall.
********
UPDATED: It’s done. FIAR is now suspended from a pike in his backyard. He’ll soon assume room temperature….Well, outside air temperature. It was for your own good, buddy. Luckily I have a copy of his living will here:
I, FIAR, being of sound mind and body, do hereby declare that if I am ever converted to hippyism, I do not wish to live. I impart the task of ending my misery on Fmragtops. For his effort in this endeavor, I leave him all my worldly possessions.
Affiant’s Signature
FIAR
We here at Radioactive Spewage, bring you a historical event. The first ever mercy impaling.
2004–2008
9 responses so far ↓
1
FIAR
// Jul 28, 2006 at 3:46 pm
You already tried to kill me once and failed. G’head and try again with your substandard union shop pikes.
Fmragtops Liberty won’t match the URL. It will confuse my not nuanced and simplisme readers.
2
fmragtops
// Jul 28, 2006 at 4:42 pm
Yeah, I failed then, but weren’t a hippy then either.
3
von
// Jul 28, 2006 at 4:48 pm
FMStinkyHippies Liberty!!!
I think I can smell him all the way down here in Mississippi! Wait, that’s just the neighbors, nevermind.
4
Sssteve
// Jul 28, 2006 at 5:23 pm
FM, make sure you plug your nose before getting too close, it might overcome you! Dirty stinking hippy!
5
richj
// Jul 28, 2006 at 7:26 pm
Watch out for FIAR’s rotten cheesy dash hole. Whatever you do, don’t try to plug anything into it.
6
fmragtops
// Jul 28, 2006 at 7:33 pm
As this post demonstrates, I always blog from my dash hole.
7
FIAR
// Jul 28, 2006 at 8:20 pm
I’ll have you know that I showered at the YMCA right after work. No more dirty goddamned hippy for me. Furthermore, my cable is still out. I’m posting this from a dial up connection just to let you know I am no longer experimenting with dirty hippyness.
I won’t be around much until I get my cable back. BTW, power’s back on for now. Just wnated to let it be known I’m not a freakin’ Hippy!!!
8
fmragtops
// Jul 28, 2006 at 8:26 pm
He’s just lying to everybody. He wants you to take him down off the pike! It’s for his own good. Placate him if you must, but he must cease to exist before he makes his first tie-dye shirt or his soul won’t pass on to Valhala. It’s what he would have wanted.
Dude, seriously, I hope your power comes back on soon. Remember Katrina? I feel your pain. Being an unhinged mad man with 29 dementias of compatability and no air-conditioning is just insane.
9
jt
// Jul 29, 2006 at 6:16 am
The name should be FIAH - Fitch Is A Hippie…
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