Jeff Foxworthy Parody, You Might Be A Terrorist

April 24th, 2009 by Les James · 19 Comments ·

If Janeane Garofalo says you’re a redneck, you might be a terrorist.

If you’ve ever gone to a park and didn’t hug a tree, you might be a terrorist.

If you don’t think that abortion is a better form of contraception than a condom, you might be a terrorist.

If Paul Begala believes you’re a wimpy, whiny, weasel, you might be a terrorist.

If you’ve ever served your country as a member of the armed forces, you might be a terrorist.

If you’re a guy and have never tea bagged another guy or visa versa, you might be a terrorist.

If you think that 535 lobotomized, white lab rats would have a better grasp on reality than Congress, you might be a terrorist.

If you’ve ever gone into the woods to drink a couple of beers and plink some cans, you might be a terrorist.

If you’ve ever been in a church that didn’t slam America, and it wasn’t because either someone was getting married or died, you might be a terrorist.

If you think Bill Ayers is a terrorist, you might be a terrorist.

If you agree with Robert Frost that good fences make good neighbors, you might be a terrorist.

If you have a four-wheel drive truck parked on your front lawn, you might be a terrorist.

If you think that burning an American flag somehow doesn’t contribute to global warming, you’re just a totally screwed-up moonbat. Oops, how’d that get in there?

If you think government, like spandex clothing, should not come in XXL, you might be a terrorist.

If you don’t think Obama can walk on water while simultaneously reading Open Veins Of Latin America, you might be a terrorist.

If you know your ass from a hole in the ground, no doubt about it, you are a terrorist.

Now it’s your turn. Just fill in the blank with your own funny phrase: If _______________, you might be a terrorist.

I think Jeff Foxworthy would approve.

Category: Political Humor Tags: Bill Ayers, DHS, Global Warming, Humour, Janeane Garofalo, Jeff Foxworthy Parody, noads, Open Veins Of Latin America, Paul Begala, Political Humor, President Obama, Redneck, Right Wing Terrorist, Tea Bagging, Tea Party

19 responses so far ↓

1 JumpOut // Apr 24, 2009 at 2:39 pm

If you think you should be able to keep some of what you earn, you might be a terrorist.

If you think tea-bagging double-entendres stop being funny after number 1,339, you might be a terrorist.
2 Hez // Apr 24, 2009 at 4:00 pm

If you think the above (and no doubt what is posted below my comment) is “pee you pants” funny, you might be a terrorist.
3 JumpOut // Apr 24, 2009 at 7:44 pm

If you don’t know the difference between comedy and sarcasm, you might be Hez.
4 Jr // Apr 24, 2009 at 9:18 pm

If you think that it’s freakin hilarious that the govt has an dept called Office of Intelligence and Analysis, then you might be a terrorist.
5 Les James // Apr 24, 2009 at 11:39 pm

I don’t know Jump, Hez has a point. Most of my post are best read before meals, with both bowels and bladder empty. Several people have complained of violent visceral reactions.

Too true, Jr.
6 Chris C // Apr 25, 2009 at 2:59 am

If you think states rights are more important than federal rights, you might be a terrorist.
7 RT // Apr 25, 2009 at 6:59 am

If you watch FOX News or listen to conservative talk radio, you might be a terrorist.

If you think our forefathers should rise up from their graves to give our country a beyotch-slap, you might be a terrorist.
8 JumpOut // Apr 25, 2009 at 12:37 pm

Les: Go ahead and take his then! See if I care!
9 Les James // Apr 25, 2009 at 8:39 pm

JumpOut- stop whining like a little girl. You’re going to ruin your image as a tough guy.
10 Alex L. // Apr 26, 2009 at 12:23 am

Hmmm, I think I might be a terrorist.
11 JumpOut // Apr 26, 2009 at 1:21 pm

Alex L., luckily you’re a dirty foreigner. Homeland security won’t come after you for that comment. Good thing you’re not a returning US veteran.
12 Eric // Apr 27, 2009 at 8:01 am

If the govt. would give me a ticket to Tehran, a decent rifle, and 50 rounds of ammo. I WOULD be a terrorist.
13 JumpOut // Apr 27, 2009 at 10:26 am

Decent rifle? You thinking M-14, or you more of the Remington 700sp type? If the Obama administration would just give me a Bushmaster ACR, and all the ammo I could store, I’d shut up and go away. I can be bought.
14 Propaganda Then And Now | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Apr 27, 2009 at 11:01 am

[...] Why ride with Hitler when you can ride with 46 of your closest friends? You wouldn’t rather ride with Hitler would you? You might be a terrorist. [...]
15 wynndstorm // Apr 28, 2009 at 9:37 pm

If you have more than 2 children, you might be a terrorist.

If you have more than 5, you’re definitely a terrorist.
16 Bad Political Humor | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Jun 12, 2009 at 1:43 pm

[...] seriously. If you do you will be put on the DHS watchlist and branded as a right wing [...]
17 Suds And Duds Beer Summit Outcome | The Planets Best Political Humor at RadioactiveLiberty.com // Aug 2, 2009 at 8:03 am

[...] National Security and spurred on by the ever increasing threat from society’s majority, the Department of Homeland Security has taken decisive action. They released a computer program. That’ll fix it. This is sarcasm [...]
18 The Controversial Birth of the Messiah // Dec 22, 2009 at 5:07 pm

[...] in the lingua franca, the vulgar tongue of the unwashed masses, even down to the level of you redneck, teabagging [...]
19 The Controversial Birth of the Messiah | The Planets Best Political Humor at RadioactiveLiberty.com // Mar 8, 2010 at 12:22 pm

[...] in the lingua franca, the vulgar tongue of the unwashed masses, even down to the level of you redneck, teabagging [...]

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