Exclusive Interview with John Edwards
Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty presents an exclusive interview with John Edwards following his announcement that he is quitting the 2008 Presidential Election race. Before we get to the interview, I would like to thank John Edwards for his time.
Now that you’ve decided to quit the race, what do you plan to do with your glitteriest evening gown?
It’s ruined! Everything is ruined! I’ll never be the princess of the ball. On the other hand, 2012 is only four years away.
But will you still fit in the gown by then? Will it still be stylish?
I’m confident that I can maintain my girlish figure. Sequins and rhinestones will never be out of style.
What is the secret behind your shiny hair?
If I told you then it wouldn’t be a secret.
Would you have to kill me if you told me?
Yes, but I could always channel your spirit in a wrongful death lawsuit.
What are your plans for the future?
I’ve been asked to team up with Paris Hilton for The Simple Life: Two Americas. She’ll play a child of privilege, and I’ll play a stay at home mom, struggling to make ends meet. Obviously it’s based on our real lives. That’s why they call it reality television.
Of the remaining candidates, who will you endorse?
If there were any female candidates remaining, I would endorse here. We girls have to stick together.
What about Hilary Clinton?
*Cough* notawoman *cough*
It’s been said that you now join the ranks of Presidential Candidate failures, such as Dennis Kucinich, Fred Thompson, Mike Huckabee, and Ron Paul. In the interest of full disclosure, I said it. Just now. How do you respond?
*Sobbing* It’s true. I’m always a bridesmaid and never the bride.
Oh, no John Edwards, don’t cry.
It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to. You would cry too if it happened to you.
Uh, no. I wouldn’t. Perhaps you should go the the little girls room and freshen up. Thanks again for your time. Sorry I made you cry.
I may be able to persuade John Edwards to answer a few more questions. Ask them in the comments.
Humor-Blogs.com has shiny hair.
Image source: Imao John Edwards fabulous facts
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Category: Political Humor Tags: Election 2008, john edwards, Paris Hilton, Political Humor, Politics, the Simple Life
2004–2012
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[...] Exclusive Interview with John Edwards [...]
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What about Hilary Clinton?
*Cough* notawoman *cough*
I could just hear the muffled voice on that one.
Best line of the post.
One question….
Did Eddie let you try on the tiara?
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I too loved the “notawoman” cough.
Genius.
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Question for Johnny: What will you do to find purpose in your life?
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How upset were you that JFK rejected his favorite ambulance chasing concubine, in favor of the two men in his life: Theresa and Barak?
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[...] Fiar shows us the rabbit hole (no that’s not some kind of nasty euphemism) with this Exclusive Interview with John Edwards. [...]
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He does have pretty hair… so shiny…
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[...] hell are people dropping out anyway? There are still like a gazillion delegates at stake. I hope John Edwards and Rudy Guiliani are not reacting to the polls because we know how accurate the polls have been so [...]