Jobs McCain is Almost Qualified For

July 1st, 2008 by Les James · 12 Comments ·

Foreword

I was given an assignment. At first I thought it would be a breeze. How hard could it be, after all, to take yet another politician and drag them through the mud they’ve been raking?

Obama was such an easy target, and Fiar did an admirable job of using him as a mop -bucket on his head and all, when he wrote about the jobs Obama is almost qualified for. So I thought, John McCain is a lot older, with a much deeper history, he should be easier to trip-up. Right? The quandary is, I’m retired Army, so picking on a Viet Nam war POW isn’t easy for me, even if he was Navy. But the fact is, he’s changed in some very fundamental ways over the years. I respect him for the man he was. I have a difficult time with the man he’s become.

The John McCain that I focused on was the man of the past 10 or so years. The wishy-washy, middle-of the-aisle, maverick, Politician, and I’ve really have grown to despise Politicians.

Enough with the intro.

Hang on a second. Gotta get this out first.

Question: What job is Hillary almost qualified for?

Answer: Her party’s nominee! Ooooo…Slap!

The Politician

Sen. John McCain (Rino, AZ) kind of gives me the creeps. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because he reminds me of a guy wearing a long, brown trench coat and tennis shoes. He tends to make alot of adults nervous and scares little kids. I know that I’ve been having nightmares since I started working on this.

Here are a few darker moments from my dreams.

John McCain is almost qualified for a position as…

a replacement gargoyle

a living statue

the thing that goes bump in the night

See what I mean?

And this for putting those thoughts in my head…

Stunt double for Sly Stallone in Rocky 7, The Beat-Down

Backword

That’s all I’ve got. How’s about a few suggestions from the peanut gall… I mean, all of you wonderful, and faithful readers out there?

Pleasant dreams.

Humor-Blogs.com is competing to be Stallone’s stunt double.

Category: Political Humor Tags: John McCain Humor, Political Humor

12 responses so far ↓

1 Chris C. // Jul 1, 2008 at 11:45 am

no job as a WalMart greeter?
2 Augusto // Jul 1, 2008 at 1:14 pm

>>>I respect him for the man he was. I have a difficult time with the man he’s become.

I couldn’t agree more. 15-20 years ago I would have called him statesman-like because he refused to toe the party line and would do what he believed was in the national best-interest. An example would be when he called Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson agents of intolerance. Yep, they certainly are/were. Then he went hat-in-hand to those very men begging for their support. I realize he’s a politician and by definition they are…uhmm, suspect, but come-on.

I didn’t always agree with Mr. McCain but I could respect him. Where are those wild and crazy swift boat veterans that are so offended to their core by flip-flopping?

But as for alternate career paths – maybe funeral director so the corpses don’t feel awkward?
3 Les James // Jul 1, 2008 at 9:12 pm

OK, so maybe this wasn’t the funniest thing I’ve ever written, but I did think the Hillary bit was good.

Sorry Chris, no Walmart greeter, maybe next time. Yeah, like that’s going to happen.

Augusto – It seems kind of weird to agree with you, but when you’re right, you’re right.
4 Fiar // Jul 2, 2008 at 12:35 am

I think Les is just afraid. What with John McCain’s reputation for being quick to anger, who can blame him?
5 Alex L. // Jul 2, 2008 at 2:00 am

I’m starting to think McCain has some sort of unnatural attachment to this Timmy kid… Catholic priest maybe…
6 Insolublog // Jul 2, 2008 at 7:31 am

Obama’s VP spot is available. McCain would be cheaper than Hillary.
7 Les James // Jul 2, 2008 at 8:46 am

Fiar- What are you doing up a 12:35 AM. Isn’t that past your bed time? Is there a monster in your closet too?
8 Nontruths // Jul 3, 2008 at 8:38 pm

I think that McCain is qualified to be two things. First, a bobbing head doll. That way he can flip on the issues as he pleases without injuring his neck. Second, I think that McCain is typecasted for Eor in the school’s presentation of Winnie the Pooh. If he is Eor, he can hide behind his advisors, never talk with the media, and look depressed all of the time without having to answer for it.
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