JumpOut’s Speech From the White House Correspondents’ Dinner
How’s everyone doing tonight? Yeah, I just flew in from Louisiana, and boy are my arms tired!
[pause for laughter]
Man, that Wanda Sykes, she sure is funny. Funny-looking!
[pause for laughter]
I know, I know, she’s a lesbian crack-whore, and I hope she contracts AIDS, and dies!
[pause for laughter]
Seriously, though, I’d like to see her go hunting with Dick Cheney, and get shot in the face with a shotgun and die!
[pause for laughter]
Dick Cheney would indeed shoot her in the face. Her face is so ugly, I’m surprised she doesn’t die every time she looks in the mirror!
[pause for laughter]
You know what would be funnier? If she was walking down the street, and got gang-raped to death!
[pause for laughter]
That’s funny right there, I don’t care who you are.
Ooo, ooo, even funnier than that would be if she were in the next skyscraper some terrorists flew a plane into, and she had to choose whether to jump to her death, or burn to death in the giant fireball!
[pause for laughter]
Which one would she would choose? Who cares!
[pause for laughter]
I know this little confabulation is supposed to be about President Obama. His speech was funny. The only thing that could have made it funnier is if he died from kidney failure during it!
[pause for laughter]
You know what else would be funny? If right after he delivered his line about Dick Cheney’s book, How to Shoot Friends and Interrogate People, a sniper shot him in the face!
[pause for laughter]
Do you remember when Gerald Ford used to fall down getting off Air Force One? President Obama should do that while Air Force One is flying!
[pause for laughter]
This audience sucks! You didn’t laugh at one of my funny jokes. You should all die from leukemia!
[pause for laughter]
You can find more funny jokes at JumpOuts law enforcement humor blog You Should Be Tasered
Category: Caustic Sarcasm · Humor · Politics [Yawn] Tags: Barack, Humor, joke, kidney failure, Obama, President, Rush Limbaugh, Wanda Sykes, White House Correspondents' dinner
2004–2012
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I, like the President, think this kind of humor is funny. Matter of fact, I had been thinking along the same lines, but this is much better than what I would have done. Good job.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I appreciate your help. thanks.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Well done. I think your audience is in stunned silence. I will state the obvious for you sheeple conditioned to take years of abuse, and smile about it because “you are bad”.There is no freaking difference between this and what was done at the correspondents dinner ,JumpOut just chose not to sugar coat the underlying message.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Great piece.
Once again, Jump Out has demonstrated why he is the best commentator on this site.
(pause for laughter)