Kennedy a Knight of The Round Table

March 10th, 2009 by Chris C · 16 Comments ·

kennedyknight

So the United Kingdom wants to give Ted Kennedy the honorary knighthood.

Why stop there? Why not skip over a few titles and go straight to Sainthood?

The Protestants are still arguing over past saints’ qualifications and the Born Again/Rapture people are too busy preparing for the end of the world. Being Catholic puts Kennedy on the fast track for sainthood in Christianity.

It is perfect for him.

What do you mean he has to be dead?

Okay fine, argue semantics all you want. In the meantime we should name a bridge after the man who is less brave than Sir Robin, a fellow Knight…

Ted will also be in good company with fellow Knight George Mitchell who showed the use of the Kennedy cover-up tactic when he investigated steroids in baseball. Mitchell is a former Congressman after all.

Kidding aside, this does not bode well for the security of England. What if there is suddenly a need for the Knights of the Round Table again?

The country’s armed forces would not be led by the likes of a King Arthur with a magic sword but rather a really old guy with a cane and a serious penchant for alcoholic refreshments.

England your Knights would be people like: Michael Caine, Sean Connery, Roger Daltry, Nick Faldo, Patrick Stewart, Rod Stewart, all the Gibbs except Andy, and Roger Moore.

While they would not be the best choices to engage an opposing army, the group would have one hell of a barbeque.

There could be a 70’s theme with “Staying Alive” and “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy”. There could be an accent-off between Caine and Connery.

Patrick Stewart might be arguing with Roger Daltry over whether Tommy was actually an opera. Faldo could teach golf tips and Ted, well he’s running the bar of course.

None of this means a hill of beans however, whatever that means as well in the grand scheme of things. I’ll be impressed when they make Ted Kennedy the honorary Captain of the US Swim Team.

That would be an achievement.

Bonus points if the team trains in the Mary Jo Kopeckne Olympic Pool.

This complete bashing of Ted Kennedy and his lack of accountability was brought to you by Chris Cameron who writes this political humor column every Thursday here at Radioactive Liberty.

Category: Political Humor Tags: England, Humour, Political Humor, Sir Ted Kennedy, Ted Kennedy Knighted, UK

16 responses so far ↓

1 Eric // Mar 10, 2009 at 3:17 pm

When I think of Ted as a knight of England, it doesn’t come to my mind as him sitting at the round table with King Arthur. More like Henry VIII, as the kings jester. So I don’t feel too bad.
2 Elm // Mar 10, 2009 at 3:41 pm

#1 Why does Britain want to knight an American? I thought that knighthood was for British citizens only.
#2 Does this mean we can deport Kennedy to Britain now?
3 JumpOut // Mar 10, 2009 at 4:48 pm

I have some questions as well. Why a knight, or a saint? Why not a martyr?
4 Les James // Mar 10, 2009 at 5:49 pm

Brave Sir Teddy ran away,
Bravely ran away, away.
When danger reared its ugly head,
he bravely hit the pub instead.
Yes, brave Sir Teddy ran to the bar
And gallantly, he ordered a beer.
Bravely taking to his feet,
He sat his fat ass on a seat,
Bravest of the brave, Sir Teddy.

Where would be be without the Pythons?
5 JumpOut // Mar 10, 2009 at 8:10 pm

Without Monty Python we’d all be Muslims.
6 Chris C // Mar 10, 2009 at 8:17 pm

Good old Ted is having one hell of a week. Gets the Knight invite then a Profile In Courage award.

What’s next, Hitler gets a posthumous Nobel Peace Prize?
7 Jr // Mar 11, 2009 at 6:08 am

Honorary Captain of the US Swim Team!

pffhhhffff! good one!
8 Robert // Mar 11, 2009 at 10:43 am

Sir Kennedy, it has a ring to it. Rolls of the tounge like warm carmel. I wish we could send him to England but that combined with Obama’s malfeasant handling of Gordon Brown and they may be ready to lob a nuke at us.
9 Fiar // Mar 11, 2009 at 1:14 pm

What’s next, Hitler gets a posthumous Nobel Peace Prize?

Arafat did. So, is it really a stretch to give one to Hitler?
10 Alex L. // Mar 11, 2009 at 10:40 pm

Oh come on, the gibb brothers are Australian… they can’t represent both countries.
11 Eric // Mar 12, 2009 at 7:55 am

On the bright side, if Teddy accepts, doesn’t that make him ineligible to hold his seat in the senate?
12 JER MYNOR // Apr 3, 2009 at 5:42 pm

The world is becoming sicker every day…..
obama is a usurper…
americans are so stupid about what is really going on, its pathetic….

kennedy the “sloosh” is a knight ?

congress is on the take….
mexicans said they would take over the country and nary a shot would be heard….they will do it in about this year , with the anchor babies ,who are now, nearing 19, and obama who will hurry up the process by amnesty….we are just like the fiddling romans ,while their country was overtaken….we play, and fiddle all day, not noticing what is really going on….
to bad, how sad……
supreme court is also paid off….

we are soon to be “upper” mexico…

we owe china everything, money,
they have been given all of the american outsourcing,
chinese own most of american buildings,
china now runs the panama canal,
china is now to start drilling in our gulf of mexico…..
china has been built up by america….
they now have the technology to shoot down our space platforms for our nations safety,
they can even shoot down our sattelites,

when will american get it together….

this indonesian is a muslim, is not our friend ,let alone our true pres., he is bankruptcing our country, and soon will control all of the banks, the auto companies, and sooner the fuel companies, then, he will control all of the food, and BAM, …..there you have it,

we are now slaves, and have to beg him and his cohorts of the “new world order’ in order to get food….we will do anything when starved,….

so why is everybody just sitting back still thinking he is going to do some “change;” .

Fools, he is in the process of it right now, as you sit there wondering when is something good going to happen?

Who ever told you the “change ” you all expect was going to be a “good” change…
you were “stiffed” fools…..

wait until he grants amnesty to all of the 12-20 million illegals this year, then the food shortage will start to be a very big isue…..why havent you thrown out the democrats , like you did the republicans when they wouldnt liste, out they went, now ,unless you vote out the dem’s and do the same to the them, oyu are just like the pied piper and the dumb mice dropping into the river and drowning, as he played on….
we could not recover from what your “hero” has done to us for 30-40 years, how do you like your “change” so far..???
wait a while longer, he’ll have all of us on our knees and the country also….”change”change”"change”" change” are you happy so far ?
13 JER MYNOR // Apr 3, 2009 at 5:46 pm

The world is becoming sicker every day…..
obama is a usurper…
americans are so stupid about what is really going on, its pathetic….

kennedy the “sloosh” is a knight ?

congress is on the take….
mexicans said they would take over the country and nary a shot would be heard….they will do it in about this year , with the anchor babies ,who are now, nearing 19, and obama who will hurry up the process by amnesty….
we are just like the fiddling romans ,while their country was overtaken….
we play, and fiddle all day, not noticing what is really going on….
to bad, how sad……
supreme court is also paid off….

we are soon to be “upper” mexico…

we owe china everything, money,
they have been given all of the american outsourcing,
chinese own most of american buildings,
china now runs the panama canal,
china is now to start drilling in our gulf of mexico…..
china has been built up by america….
they now have the technology to shoot down our space platforms for our nations safety,
they can even shoot down our sattelites,

when will american get it together….

this indonesian is a muslim, is not our friend ,let alone our true pres., he is bankruptcing our country, and soon will control all of the banks, the auto companies, and sooner the fuel companies, then, he will control all of the food, and BAM, …..there you have it,

we are now slaves, and have to beg him and his cohorts of the “new world order’ in order to get food….we will do anything when starved,….

so why is everybody just sitting back still thinking he is going to do some “change;” .

Fools, he is in the process of it right now, as you sit there wondering when is something good going to happen?

Who ever told you the “change ” you all expect was going to be a “good” change…
you were “stiffed” fools…..

wait until he grants amnesty to all of the 12-20 million illegals this year, then the food shortage will start to be a very big isue…..
why havent you thrown out the democrats , like you did the republicans when they wouldnt listen, bam, out they went, now ,unless you vote out the dem’s and do the same to the them, you are just like the pied piper and the dumb mice dropping into the river and drowning, as he played on….
we could not recover from what your “hero” has done to us for 30-40 years, how do you like your “change” so far..???
wait a while longer, he’ll have all of us on our knees and the country also….”change”change”"change”" change” are you happy so far ?
14 Julie // Apr 3, 2009 at 8:11 pm

Ironic and unsettling but to no purpose but to those who value such a title an gesture.
15 Chris C // Apr 4, 2009 at 12:28 am

Very true Julie. I’ve come to the conclusion lately that winning an award like this usually means you really haven’t done anything.

@JER MYNOR: anyone that uses the word usurper is alright in my book.
16 Rod Lumry // Aug 26, 2009 at 10:01 am

The passing of the best swimmer in all of the world “The Ted Kennedy Swim Team?

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