Over the weekend I was contacted by the world’s largest Organized Crime Syndicate, commonly referred to as “the government,” specializing in extortion, theft, bribery, and racketeering. The Chester County Crime Cartel™ informed me that if I didn’t pay them $224 they were going to get the money by stealing my house and selling it.
The whole thing was a mix-up in the first place. The incompetent extortionists from the mortgage company were supposed to pay the Mafia with my escrow account… But didn’t.
I probably would have preferred if The Family had threatened to break my legs, but instead they gave me, “Beautiful home you’ve got there. It’d be a shame if anything were to happen to it.”
First thing in the morning I’m heading to the Crime Family HQ to pay them my “protection” money.
2004–2008
4 responses so far ↓
1
Skul
// Jun 18, 2007 at 5:14 pm
While you’re at it, why not take them a piece of cake? Heh
2
RT - Chief Mongress
// Jun 18, 2007 at 5:30 pm
Yeah, what Skul said. HA!
3
Wild Bill
// Jun 21, 2007 at 11:54 am
Same if anything was to happen to their beautiful racket! Just saying.
4
David
// Jun 22, 2007 at 1:55 am
Yep. People have looked at me as though I were crazy for years every time I mentioned that they do NOT own their home… they just lease the thing from the gummint. MIss paying the Danegeld a few times and see how fast your posterior hits the pavement.
*sigh*
(OTOH, I do know of a state that claims (or once claimed–haven’t seen that for some 20 years, now) to allow filing a “homestead” claim on one’s primary domicile that can avert catestrophic seizure for back “taxes”. Never tested it, though. Don’t know anyone who has.)
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