There’s apparently this thing called “The Lottery.” It seems to be a contest in which people test their psychic ability to predict a seemingly random sequence of numbers. A certain portion of the entry fee for the competition is allocated to a “jackpot.” If an individual has superior pre-cognitive abilities, then the sum of monies contained in the “jackpot” is awarded to the supremely skilled individual.
The caveat is, few, if any humans actually possess this ability to accurately predict the future. So the “jackpot” goes up, up, up in value. This generally continues until a non-psychic, but lucky individual spends his or her entire life savings on contest tickets, and one of those tickets, by pure dumb luck, shows the correct sequence of numbers.
Here in Pennsylvania, there is “Lottery Fever,” due to the large sum contained in the “jackpot.” Another caveat is that the chancees of winning are something in the range of 4,309,934,877,590,487,776,758,904 to 1.
I have run a rigorous mathematical analysis of these odds to help explain, in more understandable terms, how likely it is that someone could buy a ticket and win. I would explain the process, except, I don’t think you are smart enough to understand it, and it may bore you anyway.
Anyway, the results of this study have led me to conclude this: Using your dollar bills as toilet paper could wind up landing you a big payout too. You just might hit the “jackpot.” You never know.
2004–2008
11 responses so far ↓
1
von
// Feb 14, 2006 at 2:58 pm
ahhh, go ahead and laugh, but It’s up to 300 Million here, so I figure 2.00 investment “Just in case.”
2
FIAR
// Feb 14, 2006 at 6:12 pm
It would have been more efficient to have flushed your $2 down the toilet.
3
von
// Feb 14, 2006 at 6:20 pm
Yeah, we’ll see, when I’m sporting a brand new server, and some serious bandwidth, you’ll be coming to me begging.
4
Sssteve
// Feb 14, 2006 at 8:15 pm
That is funny! I think I will keep my money in my pocket and just dream what I would do with 300 Mil. Crap that is a lot of money!
5
von
// Feb 14, 2006 at 10:26 pm
That’s the fun part about it. 2.00 every once in a while is worth thinking of all the things you’d do with 300 mil.
6 Bakerstreet » Blog Archive » Karn Evil #9 // Feb 16, 2006 at 12:16 am
[...] Lotto Fever: a funny(?) look at the lottery [...]
7
von
// Feb 16, 2006 at 3:14 pm
Well, I didn’t win. BUT, neither did anyone else!!! 365 Million this weekend!!!!
8
Dr. Phat Tony
// Feb 17, 2006 at 8:07 am
I play just so if I win, I can tell the reporters I’m a psychic.
9
FIAR
// Feb 21, 2006 at 1:22 pm
So, any psychics around here? *Crickets chirping*
Thought not
*Flush!* Hey was that the sound of Von throwing his money in the toilet?
10
Dr. Phat Tony
// Feb 21, 2006 at 1:29 pm
Hey I made %160 of my original investment.
11
FIAR
// Feb 21, 2006 at 1:41 pm
WOW! How’d that happen?
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