Political Humor | Machine Coded Matrix

I must admit. When I first heard of the machine coded matrix, I was suspicious. I thought, “Come on. You guys are putting me on. So, I did the obvious thing. I ran a search engine on it. It was difficult trying to parse the false information from the truth about the machine coded matrix, but what I learned was delightfully surprising.

The machine coded matrix is good for tracking down one of Chloe’s work-arounds, of course, but there’s a lot that you probably didn’t know. It also can do your taxes for you. I know, you’re thinking, “Now he tells me! I wish I had known that 2 weeks ago.”

Don’t fret. The machine coded matrix is useful all year ’round.

• It removes tough stains,
• it gets that urine smell out of the carpet, and best of all,
• it’s made from 100% recycled materials.

Your dishes will be spotless, your pans will be truly non-stick for life, guaranteed.

It slices, it dices, you can even cut a tin can with it.

Don’t worry guys, you can use it too. Don’t you hate it when you can’t find the remote? Guess what? The machine coded matrix will locate it for you, and surf through channels while it does. Forgot your anniversary? The machine coded matrix has it covered.

We all wish there was more time in the day to do the things we enjoy, but THERE’S NO TIME!!! The machine coded matrix has changed all that. Whether you want to fold the space time continuum like Jack, or if you just want to freeze time for a few hours while you look for free pr0n on the internet, the machine coded matrix can do it.

Place your orders now! Supplies are limited. Call now! 1-555-MC-MATRIX

Results not guaranteed. Not available in the United States or Canada, or anywhere else for that matter. Not an actual product. Results may vary. If you experience an erection lasting 4 hours or longer, discontinue use and consult your physician.