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Making Sense of the Super Tuesday Results

March 6th, 2008 by Chris C · 9 Comments ·

politic crap Political Humor by Radioactive LibertyEvery week the 2008 Presidential campaign gets messier and messier.

Just when you think it will finally be over, along comes one of the two Democrats with some secret deal in their pocket, and a magical come-from-behind victory.

Now that’s political humor!

I wonder what part of her soul Hillary sold to win Texas. I wasn’t aware she had any left. I figured she blew through it already when she got the previous Super Tuesday win.

Hillary Clinton has to have done something, because running a campaign like it’s a Ringling Bros tour doesn’t get you elected.

Not like it was a big win either. They pretty much split the delegates, with Hillary getting a few more. In other words, Texas said they liked Clinton a little more than Obama. I remember trying that line out when two girls liked me at the same time in high school…

Me: “I like you a little more than her.”

Girl: “And I’d like it a little more if you didn’t make me feel so mediocre, asshole.”

Not only was it a wishy-washy vote, but Texas picked a white woman with a shady background over a black man with a shady background. Where is Al Sharpton when you need him?

Things aren’t any less complicated on the Right either

John McCain frankencain01Yes, Republicans. You get to have Frankencain as your choice for President. But what if -, God forbid - he dies, or has a debilitating stroke or something?

Then by law, the delegates’ votes would have to be decided among the remaining candidates.

“But Chris, everyone but John McCain has dropped out”.

Not so fast there, buddy.

Ron Paul! has not officially quit. If Frankencain doesn’t make it to the convention, Ron Paul! and his crazy zealot fan base wins the nomination.

Not scared yet?

Like each worsening installment of Friday the 13th, one man resurrects his Presidential ambitions every four years while actually accomplishing less each time. One man threatens us with an election campaign more boring than Steve Forbes or Al Keyes.

One man spends every four years trying to drum up subscriptions for Consumer Reports.

Look out America, he has returned!

Ralph Nader the Shining

Chris Cameron’s odd and satirical views on politics appear here every Thursday. You can also read his strange and sometimes angry blog posts at Angry Seafood.

Humor-Blogs.com is voting for Nader.

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9 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Construction on the Shoulder of I-95 Causes Delays | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Mar 6, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    [...] Making Sense of the Super Tuesday Results [...]

  • 2 Making Sense of the Super Tuesday Results | Two Superb // Mar 6, 2008 at 1:22 pm

    [...] Andrew Tingle wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptI figured she blew through it already when she got the previous Super Tuesday win. Hillary Clinton has to have done something, because running a campaign like it’sa Ringling Bros tour doesn’t get you elected. … Tags: super ticket, super, bowl super [...]

  • 3 Chris C // Mar 6, 2008 at 1:52 pm

    God damn that Nader picture is scary!

  • 4 Fiar // Mar 6, 2008 at 3:02 pm

    So do the kooks vote for Ron Paul! or Darth Nader?

  • 5 RT // Mar 6, 2008 at 7:20 pm

    Ugh. Thanks for making me skeerd. I will have nightmares, now. REDRUM!

  • 6 Alex L // Mar 7, 2008 at 3:39 am

    I just really hope hilary wins… because then you get bush, clinton, bush, clinton… and if we follow that pattern, its not good, but it will make for some dynamite blogging, and isnt that really the important thing.

  • 7 Theresa // Mar 7, 2008 at 4:53 am

    Okay, I’m leaving a comment so the terrorists don’t win. Politicians are only good for one thing - blog fodder.

  • 8 elasticwaistbandlady // Mar 8, 2008 at 3:52 am

    A couple of the people in our homeschool group here in Texas campaigned for Ron Paul. Even after I told them I wouldn’t vote for the man because he’s been in Congress since 1996 and hasn’t accomplished a damn thing, they STILL sent a guy out on Election Eve to whore him up. It shows the disdain that voters are developing for the crap choices their party is offering up. They’re willing to vote for somebody, anybody other than the party boot licker.

    Sadly, he got enough momentum to squash his opponent in his congressional re-election campaign. He seems like a good guy and fairly conservative but he has a track record of a do nothing. And yet my divorced parents both voted for him.

  • 9 elasticwaistbandlady // Mar 8, 2008 at 4:00 am

    Oh, and I did what all Americans should do…….I voted my conscience. If people would put aside thoughts of only voting for those they think can win we might be able to turn politics around in this country. I voted for Duncan Hunter even though he had zero chance of winning. It was to send a message to McStain that he may have shored up the nomination but that Texans really hate him. He only won by a 51% margin. Not too good for a lead candidate.

    I took my 12 year old with me to the voting precinct. We had a couple amendments up for a vote. Things like “Should we use law enforcement and government agencies to enforce immigration laws.” Even my 12 year old was savvy enough to comment, ” Whaaaattt? They’re asking you permission to do their job?”

    Exactly.

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