If you’re dyslexic, Faygo sounds queer too. GayFo…see, very queer sounding.

For the record, Jump is totally right. It’s all Coke, unless you’re being proper. Then, it’s Co-cola.

Soda and pop both sound queer. The proper terminology for that is a coke. No matter if it’s sprite, Dr. Pepper, Faygo, Mountain Dew it’s a freakin’ coke.

Yup. It’s the language of the Michigander.

I don’t say “youse guys.” In fact, I feel like gouging the eyes out of whoever says it – with a spork – rolling them around in peanut butter then shoving them back in the sockets from whence they came.

We really do say pop, though, instead of soda. A lot of people laugh at us for it, but oh well. Soda just sounds so…. well…. queer.

Pop? Soda? Youse guys? Is that some kinda foreign language?

Seriously, I thought a man bag was your scrote.

We talk funny around here anyhow, youse guys just have NO idea how hard it is to go somewheres like Wisconsin, and say “Can I get a pop?” and 4 asstards line up ready to “pop” you in the nose.

“No, no, I want a Mountain Dew. You know? A POP?”

“You f^^kin’ idiot, it’s called SODA.”

So here I sit, drinking my pop, thinking Chris is talking about his nuts…. Go figure.

That boy’s a real slick one, isn’t he?

Man purse… thats your scrotum isnt it?

Well, being from the deep south where things such as man purses are frowned upon, I can say the only “man bags” I’ve ever seen were definitely not purses.

I love you Auntie! You should have your own blog.

And umm now that the arguing is over, a man bag IS a man purse you perverted f^^kers hehe.

What a fine kick in the pants. I spent most of my day making apple pies for the prizes for BINGO tonight, go to BINGO, the come here and find a couple of you youngsters making fun of the malady of growing older.

Skul, I still want to know what happened to your other L. Are you part of one of those hoodlum gangs that wear skulls on their jackets and smoke cigarettes out behind the school? You probably listen to that rock and roll stuff too.

Good thing you’re not my youngin young man. I’d have you spelling better and straighten that smarty pants mouth of yours out in a heartbeat. You need a good old-fashioned hide tanning. In my day, young men knew better than to sass their elders, lest they find that “tractor beam” as you put it, being repeatedly applied to the side of their heads.

I’m crankier than normal tonight. I only won one game of BINGO and even though it was the blackout round, the prize was a sack of cat litter, a box of bird feed, and a can of Sterno.

My cat is outside, where it eats the birds and poops in the wood chip pile out near the tool shed. I’ve got a case of Sterno in the basement, so that is useless too. Ethel Cunningham won two rounds of one line BINGO and got a $20 gift certificate to Michael’s, a coupon for a free cup of coffee at McDonalds and one of my pies! She’s just an old biddy, doesn’t know how to sew and probably sits around sipping tea all day. I hope the pie gives her indigestion.

What a waste.