Political Humor | More Abuse at Club G’itmo

Senator Patrick Leahy issued a statement on Club G’itmo Hotel and Beach Side Resort today, including this:

Statement Of Senator Patrick Leahy, Ranking Member, Committee On The Judiciary, Hearing On Detainees: “This week the Administration and its defenders have been trying to change the subject from the legal morass that Guantanamo has become, by producing props of chicken dinners and such, seeming to argue that it is more Club Med than prison. Let’’s get real. People have been kept in cages for three years, with no end in sight and no workable process to lead us there.”

Absolutely correct, Senator. Just look at the list of abuses being documented:

One detainee complained that his duck a l’orange was dry and overcooked. He issued a press release with this statement: “I expected world class food when I signed up for this. This is unacceptable. I want the Chef to be fired.”

About a dozen more detainees pointed out that they believe the chocolate mousse was actually chocolate pudding. One anonymous complainant said, “How stupid do the infidels think we are? We know that mousse is supposed to be light and silky. We have the most discriminating of palates here. It is clearly abusive to be force fed such garbage.”

As if that not disturbing enough, there were even more complaints:

A member of the Frequent Guest Program at the resort was appalled to find that they no longer offer windsurfing. He explained, “I wanted to go windsurfing. Then the Infidels told me that Guantanamo Bay is a prison, not a beach resort, and that there is no windsurfing here. I was so angry that I threw my Koran in the toilet.”

Another detainee, who gave his name as Ali, but refused to give his last four names, told an anonymous source, “Dude! It’s like totally bogus here. They don’t even have surfboards. I was like, ‘Dude! That’s like totally bogus, dude.’ Then he was like ‘I know dude. Get, like, back to your cell then, dude.’ It, like so totally sucks down here dude.”

Well, as the good Senator said, it’s no Club Med.