Happy New Year everyone and welcome to my second edition of political humor predictions. I will try to type quietly as I realize many of you are probably nursing a hangover.
2008 is in the books, thank God, and now our attention is focused on 2009, a year of hope, change, and promise. Leading the charge is our shiny new Messiah, whoops I meant President Obama.
Who saw that one coming?
Like many pundits in 2008 I predicted Obama would not win. Little did I know the right side of the political fence would avoid the polls in droves come November. Not that I can blame them. People are not going to vote for someone who is really old and looks close to death. Ted Kennedy looks younger for crying out loud.
Didn’t the Republicans learn their lesson with Bob Dole?
Speaking of senile, Joe Biden will be the 2009 Vice-President. He ran for President like ten times, and even got politically assassinated by Dukakis of all people during the 1988 Primaries.
Booby prize, thy name is Joe Biden.
A lot of things will happen in 2009, but then again, a lot of things happen every year. I didn’t realize all these events were happening all over the world until I looked it up on Wiki.
Did you know that the Empire State Building was was lit up for a few days in April in Mariah Carey’s motif colors – lavender, pink, and white – in celebration of her achievements in the world of music? She is also is the first person in history to be honored by this event.
Good thing there is the Internet, something invented way before 2009 by Al Gore. How he found time to create the world wide web and Global Warming is beyond me.
In 1980 I predicted Lego toys would go bankrupt. Man was I wrong. I was eleven. Who knew? I f^^king hate legos.
I’m sorry, this really is about 2009 and not my misplaced anger towards a children’s product. Back on point…
So what can you expect in the coming year?
Who the hell knows?
Chris Cameron writes this column every Thursday at Radioactive Liberty. He also can be read on his own original humor blog Angry Seafood.
2004–2010
7 responses so far ↓
1
RT
// Jan 1, 2009 at 3:43 pm
I predict that Bill Clinton will be hosting a lot of parties at his house while Hillary is on never ending trips abroad to promote her–I mean–Obaama’s policies, which of course, none of the other countries will understand or really know, because Obama will never provide a firm, concrete explanation of what he believes. Well, except that he believes he can save the world.
2
Jr
// Jan 1, 2009 at 8:00 pm
Chris is just mad because that Cheryl Ladd doll made of Legos never quite worked out, did it Chris?
3
Les James
// Jan 1, 2009 at 9:45 pm
I predict that Bill Clinton will be the next host of The Price is Right. Hillary will have an affair with Mike Myers -like we didn’t see that one coming. Pakistan will discover bin Laden’s long lost half brother, living in a shack in Kenya next door to Barack’s and SNL will be funny again.
Oh, Legos’ stock will soar. I liked Legos.
4
David
// Jan 2, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Les, I think it is more likely that Hillary would have an affair with Mary Cheney – you know in the way that across-the-aisle politics-makes-strange-bedfellows kind of way.
5
Chris C
// Jan 2, 2009 at 11:01 pm
Umm it was a Cheryl Tiegs doll.
6
Unfinished Rambler
// Jan 5, 2009 at 11:56 pm
Best line: Booby prize, thy name is Joe Biden.
Of course, you know that, since you wrote this, but really great analysis, especially the end: “Who the hell knows?” Good to go with the conservative view.
7
Dorkelina
// Jan 6, 2009 at 6:30 am
I’m going to build a presidential candidate out of Legos.
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