With the Oscars just gone by, there’s been much talk about bad movies. I’ve noticed that more than half the movies coming out lately are either remakes of old movies, or movie versions of TV shows.
I noticed a glaring omission, though. When does A-Team the Movie come out? That would be a bad movie, so it seems obvious to me that it must be in production, or at least in the casting phase.
My best guess on the cast would be:
Murdock: Jamie Kennedy of Son of the Mask fame (Wildly popular movie)
Hannibal: The guy who played Mr. Peterman on Seinfeld (I don’t know his real name)
Face: Keanu Reeves
B.A. Barackus:
This on was tough to figure out. It needs to be a big black guy, likable, and preferably inexperienced at acting. Straight from the Super Bowl to the Silver Screen, in his full length feature film debut, it’s Jerome Bettis!
Oh, yeah. Then it’s gonna make a sequel to put it in the running for the worst movie ever made.
Who do you think should be cast for the roles?
**
Linked on Mudville Gazette, Samantha Burns
2004–2009
11 responses so far ↓
1
Dr. Phat Tony
// Mar 7, 2006 at 12:27 pm
Maybe Michael Duncan Clark as B A Barackus. I think it would be pretty easy to glue some strips of hair to his head.
2
Sssteve
// Mar 7, 2006 at 1:14 pm
The doc stole my guy! Just make him a bald BA!! And you could call him BD istead! Bald Dome!! Ha ha ha ha I kill my self!! Whooo Hooo! *wipes tear from eye*
3
FIAR
// Mar 7, 2006 at 7:17 pm
I’m sticking with Bettis.
4
Mike
// Mar 8, 2006 at 9:10 am
Hollywood would mess it all up. The best part about the A Team was they shot 100,000 rounds of ammunition in every episode and nobody ever died or even got hit. Hollywood would have to put a dark angle on it and fill it with blood and gore. And the A Team would have to fight the CIA who was picking on a poor defensless Pakistani family just trying to make a living in California while simultaneously stopping the real terrorists who were a bunch of rich white kids from the suburbs. They would also turn Murdock gay and BA would go on and on about the injustices put on him by “The Man”. No thanks.
5
FIAR
// Mar 8, 2006 at 12:36 pm
That’s just one of the things that would make it so bad, Mike.
6
fmragtops
// Mar 8, 2006 at 2:20 pm
How about President Allstate as BA? He could get all yoked up like he was in Major League, and he has the hair for the reverse mohawk.
And Hannibal HAS to be TOMMY LEE JONES. There is nobody better for that role.
Murdock? Jim Carrey
Face could be any pretentious hollywood actor. My choice would be Matthew McConihay (or however you spell that). I just think he looks like Face.
7
FIAR
// Mar 8, 2006 at 7:17 pm
FM - STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT A GOOD MOVIE!!!
8
Synova
// Mar 8, 2006 at 7:47 pm
LOL. But it *could* be a good movie!
I loved that show when it was on. Loved it. And now if I flip past a re-run I cringe and flip faster. What’s up with that?
9
fmragtops
// Mar 9, 2006 at 5:08 pm
My bad.
Michael Jai White as B.A. (That was the guy that played Spawn in the movie)
Face could be one of the obscure Baldwin brothers.
Murdock could be Jim Brewer (of Halfbaked fame)
The guy that played Greg’s dad in Dharma and Greg and was Gen. McAllister in Lethal Weapon, could be Hannibal.
There does that cast suck enough?
10
FIAR
// Mar 10, 2006 at 12:21 pm
Yes, FM. Much better, or worse. Whatever.
11
Chris
// Mar 13, 2006 at 5:12 pm
If you really want to make certain it will be a terrible movie, just add the following tagline:
“directed by Michael Bay”
Leave a Comment or the Terrorists Win!
If you're wondering how to get an icon next to your name, go to gravatar.com and sign up for a free account.
Remember, only terrorist sympathizers don't have a gravatar.