Obama Creates 6,000,000 Jobs In One Day
Saturday afternoon Obama told us he is going to create 3.5 million new jobs. By midnight it was up to 4.1 million.
Obama: “Folks, I have a new plan. Everyone gets a job. Starting Monday, just go down to your local government agency, doesn’t matter which one and apply for a job. Guess what, you are hired.
I don’t know what you will do, but we will figure something out. Maybe you can replace old lightbulbs with new, mercury-filled ones, or tear down coal plants. This is a new economy and we need new solutions.
Ask not what you can do for your country ask what your country can do for you.”
Is this guy the Messiah or what? Quick someone get him a leper to cure or water to turn into wine.
But wait folks, there’s more!
You know how those charities claim to be able to feed children in third world countries for just the price of a cup of coffee? Well, Our Lord has a similar plan. He’s lopping off $500 of your payroll taxes, giving you approximately $1.37 extra in your paycheck every day. Every day!
I know, I was amazed too when I found out about this new-found wealth. What will I do with that extra nine bucks and change a week? Where will I invest it? How the hell is anyone buying this bulls#1t Obama is feeding us?
For just the price of a cup of java you can feed a child…your own.
Oh yeah, just ignore John Kennedy’s body rolling over in his grave while Obama blows out his eternal flame. It’s better that way.
Chris Cameron writes a weekly column here every Thursday and also has his own humor blog Angry Seafood.
Category: Political Humor Tags: Humour, Jobs Bill, Obama, Political Humor, Unemployment
2004–2012
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How the hell is anyone buying this bulls#1t Obama is feeding us?
With nine dollars and change a week. Although I hear the cost of bulls#1t will be going up sharply, around the 20th of January.
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John F. Kennedy? Never heard of ‘im.
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Figures.
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I have to disagree. I think bulls#1t will be cheaper since the supply of it in our government will be as high as it has ever been.
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I don’t know Chris. We have stupidity in government in larger amounts than ever before and it seems to be costing us a lot more.
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No worries. We can just print more money.
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We can just print more money.
We can do that? Holy crap! We’ll never run out of money then.
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“I have to disagree. I think bulls#1t will be cheaper since the supply of it in our government will be as high as it has ever been.”
(Damnit, would someone tell me the coding for getting italics?)
The laws of supply and demand do not apply to bulls#1t. If it looks like the going rate is going to fall, they just start tacking on the Febreze Tax to the price. Even though you’re only paying 99 cents for each load of bulls#1t, you’ll be paying another $12.99 plus S&H for the Febreze.
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The code for italics is:
[em]your text here[/em]
except you replace the [ ] with <>
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The code for italics is:
Thank you JO.
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[...] Hi, I’m Billy Mays. I’ve promoted a lot of wonderful products in my time but I’ve never seen anything like this. Image owning a piece of history that you’ll be proud to display on you mantle. Think of what you friends will say, when they see that you have your very own bit of Obama. [...]
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[...] I did fall, until I landed upon The Beguiler, The Deceiver of Worlds, The Silver-Tongued Serpent, The Man of Many Faces, yet even The [...]