President Barack Hussein Obama (mmm, mmm, mmm) calls in a hack computer guy with marginal Photoshop skills to help him design the New American Flag. They sit in the Oval Office.
Obama: “How do you use that thing? I don’t see a teleprompter?”
Hack: “It’s a laptop, Mr. President. The screen’s sort of like a teleprompter.”
Obama: “I see. Hum. I like it. Now, I was thinking we should start with the current flag and see how I can improve it. ”
Hack: “No problem sir…”
Obama : “That’s Mr. President.”
Hack: Oh, sorry Mr. President. Okay, here’s the U.S. flag we have today.”
Obama: “You see the basic problem, don’t you. It has red strips that represents Red States. Also there’s more red strips than white. Sends the wrong message.”
Hack: “Not an issue, Mr. President. I’ll just get rid of the red ones. There, what do you think?”
Obama: “Better, but still not right. Now there’s too much white.
Hack: “I see your point. Okay, how about this?”
Obama: “I don’t know. How many stars are on the thing?”
Hack: “Well, ah… there are 50, Mr. President.”
Obama: “See, I knew something was wrong. During the campaign I got to all but one state. Now I’ve been to all 58 states. So add eight more stars.”
Hack: “Ah… yes Mr. President.”
Obama: “That’s a total mess. Let me think. I know, I’m a star. Matter of fact, I’m The Star, so how about one big one instead?”
Hack: “Like this?”
Obama: “Crap, now it reminds me of the Texas flag. That’ll never do. Get rid of the star.”
Obama: “Getting there. Except that blue looks too confrontational. Give me something a little more soothing. Something that says, “Hey, we’ve screwed-up. We’re sorry for all our transgressions, real or perceived.”
Hack: “What do you think of this, Mr. President?”
Obama: “Great color. But it’s still missing something.”
Hack: “Mr President, if I may be so bold…”
Obama: “Yeah, go ahead, but I’ll take credit for it if it’s a good idea.”
Hack: “Of course, Mr. President. I’d be honored for you to take credit for my idea.”
Obama: “Whatever. Just get on with it.”
Obama: “PERFECT!”
2004–2010
10 responses so far ↓
1
Wyatt Earp
// Nov 1, 2009 at 11:55 am
The U.N. Is there a more useless organization on Earth?
2
Les James
// Nov 1, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Humm… Maybe Obama’s czar vetting committee?
3
Angie
// Nov 2, 2009 at 8:43 pm
How long before he lets Detroit get nuked?
The rate Michigan is going, they’ll be cutting our star off the flag when they sell us to Canada….
And I think it’s SIXTY states, Les. He said he’d been in 57, wasn’t allowed to go to two (I don’t remember which, but I believe Hawaii was one) and had one more to go: 57 + 2 + 1 = 60.
Just sayin’.
4
Fiar
// Nov 2, 2009 at 9:41 pm
Angie is partially correct. He probably meant to say that he had been to 47 states. They weren’t going to go to Alaska or Hawaii, so there was only one left to go.
BUT, he muddled it all up so bad that it was unclear as to whether he was indicating that there were 57, 58, or 60 states. He said that he had visited ALL 57 states. Then he mentioned Alaska, Hawaii, and one other. The way he said it, you could easily interpret that ALL 57 states means he thinks there are 57. Mentioning one he has not been to COULD mean there are 58. If you add Alaska and Hawaii, then it could be 60 states, but then you have to go back the the fact that he said ALL 57 states.
5
Fiar
// Nov 2, 2009 at 9:43 pm
I’ve been trying to think up an answer to Wyatt’s question, but nothing is coming to mind.
6
Angie
// Nov 2, 2009 at 11:42 pm
Either way, he’s discombobulated without his teleprompter. Hell, sometimes he’s even confused WITH it.
I have no answer to Wyatt’s question, either.
7
Eric
// Nov 3, 2009 at 1:51 am
To be honest, I don’t think he meant he thought there were 57 states that he had been to. It’s a nice hit, keep it coming. He likely meant he had made 57 stops in different states. Don’t put me down as a supporter, I just don’t think this is a viable long-running screw-up when you have real lies he has made to follow up on.
8
Fiar
// Nov 3, 2009 at 7:38 am
You dirty Obama supporter.
9
Angie
// Nov 3, 2009 at 7:44 pm
I think his mouth was just moving faster than his brain. He has 50 states on the brain, needed to say 47 but 57 came out instead.
That’s what happens when you love to talk just to hear the sound of your own voice, as is apparent with both Obamas. Narcissistic to the core, both of them.
10
Les James
// Nov 5, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Fiar – 57, 58, 60, who cares. No matter what the number, it’s funny.
Angie – Blah, blah, blah, blah blah. Oh, was the Chosen One speaking again? I swear those teleprompters are mirrors.
Eric – Going to have to go with the boss on this one.
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