Barack Obama was elected President of the United States of America on November 4, 2008. We covered the action, and even predicted the outcome of the election in advance. I personally took the position that McCain was just too crappy of a candidate to vote for him.

The next 8-10 years of Obama’s Presidency are going to be interesting. We are the opposition now. It is now our turn to shake our tiny fists of rage and be the new Daily Kos wiener kids of internet loserdom. Now it is our turn to be filled with incoherent rage for the President. Our battle cries will be Uck Fobama, Obama=Hitler, Not My President, Impeach Obama, Indict Axlerod, and Eliminate Emmanuel.

We will suffer incomprehensible cases of Obama Derangement Syndrome, and revile anything and everything that can be even tangentially associated with Obama. We will document Obamisms and release a series of woefully unentertaining books around them. Our lives will be full of misery and rabid hatred for Obama. It will be every bit as incoherent, and unfounded as the support for Obama’s platform of “Hope and Change,” whatever the Hell that was supposed to mean. We will uncover the truth about Obama, no matter how fabricated or false.

We are the new Republican Underground. We have zero tolerance for moderates, bipartisianship, reaching across the aisle, or any other forms of ideological weakness. We have spines of titanium plated steel, forged in the foundries of Hell. We draw our might by feasting on the flesh of babies and fuel our gas guzzling Hummers with the blood of hippies.

In the future, many hippies will be beaten, and stomped under the jackbooted foot of Conservative Opression. But first, I offer this opportunity for those of you reveling in an Obama victory to gloat.

So I call out to Moonbats, Hippies, Obamabots, Obamatrons, and racists that voted for Obama because he is black. Tell us how much we suck. Gloat. Wave the arrogant flag of your electoral victory in our faces.

I’m sure I would never return to this post to say I told you so. Never.

Category: Political Humor Tags: 2008 Election, Barack Obama, Conservative, Humour, Obama Derangement Syndrome, Political Humor, President Obama, Republican Underground