I have to take this opportunity to revise my endorsement of Barack Obama for President. As a writer of political humor, it just doesn’t really get any better than a Barack Obama Presidency. Seriously. I thought Ron Paul running for president was a goldmine, and even pondered how great it would be to see Ross Perot run again, but Barack Obama is a runaway freight train carrying the mother freaking load.
The Obama 58 states controversy has reignited, although the focus has shifted to the 57 states he claimed to have visited. This ties in the association of Barack Henry Obama to the idea that he’s really just a closet Muslim. I don’t where we go from that. I guess President Obama turns over the country to Ahmadinejad, or forces all our women to wear bhurkas. I really can’t see how anything could be worse than the raging nanny state, tax and spend, big government, Socialist that Obama already really is. That’s the bad part. Obama a Muslim. Don’t really care.
So, Obama has been on a rampage, trying his best not to sound like a candidate that just stepped off the short campaign bus and flailing and failing miserably. This guy has more Bushisms in a weekend than President Bush has had in nearly 8 years. And the same mindless drones that decry Bush as a a drooling moron, the Chimp in Chief, bow and worship at the altar of The Obamessiah.
Obama was on a show with George Stephenopulos, and the exchange went like this:
Obama says that “McCain hasn’t talked about my Muslim Faith,” and then Stephenopulos interrupts him. Clearly what Obama meant to say is “lllllllllllllllmmmmmmmmmmgggggggghhhhhhhhhhkk,” which roughly translates to “could someone please remove this bucket from my head? Anyone. Anyone.” But instead he forgot to say the word “alleged,” which in this context is pretty big.
Then he makes reference to Sarah Palin and something about putting “lipstick on a pig.” Again, Obama can be difficult to understand, what with the bucket that’s stuck permanently to his head, but he didn’t make clear what exactly was meant by putting lipstick on a pig. I don’t know.
It’s also possible that there will be a new line of Obama Lipstick coming out to complement the Obama Air Tires, and Obama Air Gauges already for sale. Then again, maybe he sees pig farming in the future. Be on the lookout for the Obama Lipstick pig with commemorative inscription. Available in 57 states, but not in Hawaii or Alaska.
Maybe the clearly Islamic Obama was really just referencing the prohibition against pork his faith demands. Or maybe he just resents the fact that Sarah Palin would allow her 17 year old daughter to be punished with a baby. I don’t know how he can make that judgment, though, because it’s above his pay grade. It was certainly above his reading level grade, which I suspect falls somewhere between pre-K and K.
All this brings us back around to the whole Obama 57 states meme going around. It seems that The Organization of the Islamic Conference also known as the OIC has 57 Islamic states. So there you have it. I’m hesitant to call Obama a chimp, like the moonbats call President Bush, lest I be charged with racism. The moonbats like to see racism everywhere.
There will no doubt be screams of racism for calling Obama a blistering moron. Well, the world didn’t end today, and there was no large hadron collider black hole. Just the black hole where Obama’s Brain should fit.
A bumbling President is good for the political humor business. In all 57 states. I just had a thought. Where did the other state go. Maybe that supercollider did do something. If one of the states is missing - Well, you can put lipstick on a pig… But Obama is still bordering on can’t even tie his own shoes retarded.
That’s why I think Obama needs to be President. Don’t be bitter Americans, clinging to your guns and religion. Vote for Obama. Vote for Change.
I need to know, did I miss any of Obama’s blunders or did I hit them all? As always leave a comment or the terrorists win.
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8 responses so far ↓
1
Chris C
// Sep 10, 2008 at 8:06 pm
If you include all of Central America there would be 57 states…
2
REB 84
// Sep 10, 2008 at 8:58 pm
The right-wing talking heads are up to their old tricks of distortion and distraction by playing the self-righteous victim over Barack Obama’s ‘lipstick on a pig’ reference to the McCain campaign’s claim to be change agents.
As usual, the news media is all over this little manufactured spat. However, I have not heard anyone mention another way of looking at this thing. Could it be argued that the G.O.Pig represents a continuation of the past eight years of bankrupt policies, and Sarah Palin is the young attractive lipstick that has been applied to this pig to make it more appealing?
QuestionItNow
3
Les James
// Sep 10, 2008 at 9:56 pm
The Amerikan instanttut Of moRons has taken a fence at you’re remrks saing that Obama is one of us. We R a bunch smartr and we suing you!!!!
Less jame
presedent AIm
4
David
// Sep 10, 2008 at 11:30 pm
If Ron Paul had some of that pit bull/hocker mom lipstick, maybe he would have done much better at energizing the wild and crazy crowd.
He just lacked a spectacular architect like karl rove to demonize the opponents in a meaningful way.
5 The Fun and Humor of Political Mudslinging | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Sep 11, 2008 at 9:26 am
[...] Obama Putting Lipstick on a Pig in all 57 Islamic States [...]
6
media dude
// Sep 11, 2008 at 3:18 pm
McCain has become quite the politician since he got his party’s nomination… it has become obvious that his strategy for winning is based on personal attacks and distracting people from the bigger issues
7
Chris C
// Sep 11, 2008 at 9:43 pm
People don’t care about the issues. If they did our politicians would get away with a hell of a lot less then they do.
People want to see conflict and drama in their politics because it is played out mostly on television where it is harmless and can be turned off.
What genre of television has the most shows? Drama. What is the key to the plot of a story? Conflict. Of course there is resolution in a fictional plot but most of television is reality tv so that never happens. We just see the blowups and the fights and not the settling of issues later.
8 Financial Crisis - Super Obama Will Save Us | Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty // Sep 26, 2008 at 9:16 am
[...] He can protect women from being punished with a baby while putting lipstick on a pig. [...]
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