Obama Works on Next Appeasement Speech
Barack Obama is in the Oval Office with Bob Gibbs…
Obama: “Bob, send that Jon Favreau kid in here. I need a speech written and I also want to compliment him on the great job he did in Couples Retreat.”
Bob: “That’s another Jon Favreau sir, the actor and director. Our John is the youngest speech writer ever, remember?”
Obama: “Yes, that’s right. I’ve been so busy getting things done in my first nine months I got them confused.”
Jon enters the Oval Office and sits down across from Obama.
Jon: “You needed me sir?”
Obama: “Jon, no need to salute me. Put your right hand and arm down.”
Jon: “Yes sir.”
Obama: “Jon, I’m going to Switzerland tomorrow and I need a good speech. I want to let them know that even though we have been enemies we hold out our hand in peace.”
Jon: “I think Switzerland is a neutral country.”
Obama: “Let me be clear. We must have something to apologize to them for.”
Jon: “Hmm they did recently arrest Roman Polanski.”
Obama: “He’s not supposed to be arrested. He’s one of us. How did that happen?”
Bob: “You authorized Eric Holder to sign off on the arrest warrant.”
Obama: “Oh yes, I remember now. I’ve been so busy with the Olympics and making decisions on Afghanistan…have you seen my Nobel Prize Jon?”
Jon: “You’ve shown it to me numerous times. Quite remarkable I might add. About the speech…”
Obama: “Of course. Let’s apologize for arresting Polanski then.”
Jon: “Done and done.”
Bob: “Only seventy-three more countries on the appeasement list.”
Obama: “Who’s next?”
Bob: “Luxembourg.”
Obama: “Jon, include them too in the speech. Apologize for World War Two.”
Jon: “I think they were our allies.”
Obama: “Make no mistake. We must have done something to offend them, especially in the last eight years.”
Jon: “I’ll add a line or two about Bush’s policies.”
Obama: “Good. That should do it. One thing though Jon. Save your energy because we have a big speech to write next week.”
Jon: “China sir?”
Obama: “You bet. We have to apologize for the Dali Lama’s visit.”
Jon: “But you didn’t meet with him.”
Obama: “We let him come to America. China must be mad at us.”
Bob: “We did order the Empire State Building to use red and yellow lighting to mark the anniversary of communist China.”
Obama: “Yes but make no mistake. We owe them an apology.”
Jon: “So is that it sir? I’d like to get started on the speech.”
Obama: “You may go.”
Jon leaves the Oval Office
Obama: “Damn it!”
Bob: “What is it sir?”
Obama: “I forgot to ask him when Iron Man II is coming out.”
________________________________________________________
Chris Cameron is a writer/columnist/beat reporter for Radioactive Liberty. You can also read his odd form of mostly non-political humor at his blog Angry Seafood.
Category: Political Humor Tags: Apology Tour, Appeasement, Humour, Political Humor, President Obama, President Obama Humor
2004–2012
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Damn, I’m out of the loop for a few days and you guys go wild. I suppose if Bush had read Earth by David Brin, Obama would have something to apologizes for. Then the New Axis of Evil would have been N. Korea, Iran and Switzerland.
Maybe that reference is a bit vague, still good stuff, Chris.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Thanks Les. This was an idea to me that popped into my head as I was drifting off into sleep the other day. This happens a lot which is why I keep a pen and piece of scrap paper on my nightstand.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
[...] at the TV. Occasionally, I’ll write nasty replies to comments from vacuous followers of the Chosen One, who chant “Yes, we can. Yes, we can”, in rhythm to the nodding of their dashboard Obobble [...]
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
[...] at the TV. Occasionally, I’ll write nasty replies to comments from vacuous followers of the Chosen One, who chant “Yes, we can. Yes, we can”, in rhythm to the nodding of their dashboard Obobble [...]