Obama’s Here And The French Still Hate Us
President Obama recently met with French President Sarkozy during the European Leg of his Apologize for America Tour. For some reason, Sarkozy didn’t seem to take a shine to the Chosen One.
The Subversive Conservatives @ Radioactive Liberty have obtained a transcript of their conversation.
Obama: So Nick, what did you think of my speech apologizing for America dissing Europe?
Sarkozy: First off Barack, I am Mr President to you. Not Nick, Nicky, or Nicolas understand? Second I do not understand this “dissing”.
Obama: So Nick, what did you think of my apolog… Hang-on, I’ve already read that… Yeah, just scroll down a bit… There you are. Stop. Perfect… Anyway, dissing. You know, like to disrespect. America has disrespected you guys over here for far too long. Reagan dissed you, Bush dissed you. The other Bush dissed you. Clinton just wanted a blow job. Hehehe, I added that last one myself… Stay on message. Do not try to do this on your own… Oh, I wasn’t supposed to read that last part aloud. Sorry, I apologize.
Sarkozy: Yes, I can see you are sorry and very bad at ad lib, but the French are far more sorry.
Obama: Oh please, my country has much more to be sorry for than France. We tortured prisoners with caterpillars!
Sarkozy: HA! We French build cars that are so bad that it is torture just to drive one. And we sell them to ourselves!
Obama: That’s pretty sorry, but I can top it. America will immediately and unconditionally pull out of Pakistan.
Sarkozy: You are not in Pakistan.
Obama: What? John Kerry told me he spent Christmas in Pakistan.
Sarkozy: You see, I am right. Europe and especially France has much more to apologize for than your baby-aged country will ever have. You have not been around long enough to have gone through the Spanish Inquisition, the Middle Ages, or the Crusades. We have far more to be sorry about than America will ever have.
Obama: You don’t know what you’re talking about. What about slavery, WWI, WWII, Korea and Viet Nam?
Sarkozy: We had our own slaves and we ran away in WWI, WWII and Viet Nam. We also sent exactly one ship and an entire battalion of snobby waiters to your Korean war. So there. What do you have to say now, huh? You can not possibly beat that. I win.
Obama: Yeah, well. Yeah… Well… Well… I have a small penis!
Sarkozy: What?
Obama: I said, I have a small penis!
Sarkozy: You are trying to shame me. There is no way your penis is smaller than mine. We French pride ourselves on our minuscule manhood.
Obama: That’s right Nicky. You know I’m only half black and the white half is way tiny.
Sarkozy: I do not believe you. American’s are known around the world for winning all of your, how you say, pissing contest. That requires a very large…
Obama: Peter? Not me bucko. Now you know why I apologize so damn much. It’s so small I can only tinkle down my leg.
Sarkozy: I challenge you prove your claim. Right here! Right now!
Obama: Okay, but I have to warn you, I don’t have any balls either.
Sarkozy: It is true! Your penis is smaller than mine and you do not have any balls!
Obama: Oui, oui, Sarkozy. I have a wee wee-wee.
Sarkozy: I hate you! I hate America!
Category: Political Humor Tags: France, French Hate America, Humour, Political Humor, President Obama satire, Subversive Conservatives
2004–2012
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I thought this was supposed to be conservative humor, not puerile jibber-jabber.
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puerile jibber-jabber.
I like that phrase. Mind if I steal it?
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I ain’t got time for all yo jibba-jabba Foo’!
I pitty the foo’ who thinks this site is puerile jibba-jabba!
I always wanted to say that.
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[...] Barack Obama here for Obama Motors. While I’ve no experience in manufacturing, sales, management, making payroll, or wiping the shit-eating grin off my face, I’m now in charge of two out of three of American’s largest car makers. We’ll get Ford sooner or later. [...]
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[...] order to come to a proper conclusion, you must first realize that Obama is not a sissy. Nor is he stupid. He doesn’t do things like get a bucket stuck on his head, or fix oil [...]
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[...] order to come to a proper conclusion, you must first realize that Obama is not a sissy. Nor is he stupid. He doesn’t do things like get a bucket stuck on his head, or fix oil [...]
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Whoever wrote this can burn in hell
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[...] on Twitter. Thanks.The military intervention in Libya is like totally awesome, right! I mean, France is leading the way, so this is totally different than invading [...]
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Hello from France, guys.
Obviously, this post (this website ?) isn’t serious, looking at the fantasy dialog.
I’m not really interesting on it, personal delirium of an anonymous one I don’t know (and i don’t really care to know lol) are not my thing..^^
My comment just about the title “Obama’s Here and the french still hate us”…
==> Well, french doesn’t actually hate you, as far as I know…oO… Actually, Sarkozy is even, the most Pro-american president we ever had, so this title is really stupid, guess me… Some french aren’t really please with some American government fact (note the word “government”, the majority of people in the world who seems to hate american are actually hating their government, not their people)
==> Even if “we” (french) hate you guys (which isn’t the case), i don’t know how having Obama would actually change something… We don’t judge a nation and its inhabitant by its single leader…hopefully !! (i hope its the same in other countries, or we are pretty fucked with that b*tch Sarkozy…^^” )
===> I know here in USA, you LOOOVED to think you have the biggest penis ever in the occidental world, and you LLLOOOOVED to tell everyone this like it was the only truth…
Actually, i’m always amazed on how you made an obsession of it… I don’t know which americans spread this on the web like a pride, and like there is something to be proud of penis size but, beyond the Atlantic, it made USA’s men looking like “complexed small teenager who has something to prove”… really, lol xD…
==> And, anyway, if some of you want to talk about it, look at :
)
this : http://www.targetmap.com/viewer.aspx?reportId=3073
or other graphic about this (kiddy) subject. At least, if the writer want to taunt french, then he should taunt french on something real lol, because it seems that USA isn’t really in the best position to mock the size of other countries’ men’s penis 0_o (no offense, is not the matter, but we have seen way much better french basher…
Bye guys
. And don’t worry, some french are racist but France is still far to hate us like you seems to feel, 
. After all, Disneyland is still sitting around Paris, and “France Mc Donald” is well, lol ^^
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-O… -It’s a lost in translation thing, you wouldn’t understand.
This was satire, based on true events, to illustrate the “fact” the French hate us, which plays on the “fact” Obama is black (he’s only half black, so I say he’s white) and therefore MUST have a big penis. The real fact is, explaining a joke takes all the fun out it, and I fell for it. A typical French ploy. Why do you hate me?