Political Humor | Overanalysis of the Male Brain

One of the things I hate about women is that their brains work differently from the male brain. Maybe they work better than our brains. I don’t know, but they definitely work differently. I cite the “I was going to spend it anyway” example for starters, but that merely scratches the surface.

Here’s some advice for women: Men say what they mean. There’s no hidden context. There’s no ulterior motive. Ok, so there’s a caveat. When you girls ask certain questions, many of us don’t say what we mean, we say what we think is the correct answer, but that’s another topic entirely.

I’m talking about things that we say that are our own original thoughts. Here’s a fictional but likely example. The setting is dinner at a restaurant.

Guy: Holy crap! That’s a lot of food!

Chick: What’s that supposed to mean?

Guy: Uh, which part confused you? “Holy crap,” or “That’s a lot of food?”

See now, Example Guy is confused at this point. He thinks that what he said was fairly simple and straightforward. Example Guy, however doesn’t understand that there is no right answer to the question he’s just been asked. That’s because when women ask questions, there’s NEVER a right answer.

Sometimes there’s a more highly advanced guy, who understands that the woman’s question meant, “Are you calling me fat?” We’ll call him “Sensitive Guy.” Sensitive Guy understands the loaded question, and thinks he can outwit the trap that has been set.

Chick: What’s that supposed to mean?

Sensitive Guy: No, sweety. I don’t think you’re fat at all. I think you look beautiful.

Sensitive Guy thinks he’s beat the system, but in reality, Sensitive Guy has just fallen for the trap. He’s in for Hell to pay for that attempted pre-emptive strike. Sensitive guy, you are truly stupid.

Chick: So, you DO think I’m fat!

Guys, as much as you would like to think that it’s a good thing that she’s not talking to you. It’s not. It’s never a good thing.

Ladies, the thought never crossed your guy’s mind about your weight. You’re over-analyzing the situation and applying your own insecurites on his thought process. Guys aren’t that complex.

Here’s what Example Guy meant when he said, “Holy crap! That’s a lot of food!” He mean’t “Holy crap! That’s a lot of food, for eight bucks!” He’s expressing the joy of value for his dollar. Nothing more, nothing less.

We need the help of women to please stop over-analyzing the things we say. We aren’t that complex in our thinking. There is one exception to this, and that is “Weasel Guy,” a true scoundrel that is fully actualized to the woman’s thought process. He is to be avoided at all costs. Weasel guy is notable for his ability to avoid every trap set by his female companion. He uses this knowledge for evil.

Weasel Guy is a post for another time, but avoid him like the plague. And for crying out loud, We meant it the way we said it!

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Linked on Mudville Gazette