Uh, oh.

Denver Zookeeper Dies From Jaguar Attack

Isn’t Jaguar owned by Ford?
Probably trying to steal the guy’s wallet…

Obviously, the solution is to license and register cars, and their drivers with the all-knowing government and give mandatory training to them and have age limits and…

What?
Oh.
Never mind.

On a serious note, they cops have my prayers.

Heck, I even pray for you, FIAR.

I’ve run into a few people that had what could be referred to as “semi-automatic assault mouths”.

Yeah, you saw how Jack Bauer escaped that torturing Muslim when he was all tied up, didn’t you? He didn’t use his hands or feet; he went Lost Boys on that beyotch!

People would just adapt and use their feet or mouth. It’s hopeless!

Maybe if look back in history, to the first killing (or should we focus more on just murder) and see what technology was used.
If we eliminate hands along with arms, maybe the murder rate will go down.

Guns don’t kill people. Evil cars do!

Or, as omni-paranoid Dale Gribble from the cartoon “King of the Hill” said, “Guns don’t kill people, the government does.”

I’d give him a lenient sentence of Death by Automobile. Is “Christine” available?

Dern tooten their evil. Wantenly spewing carbon into atmosphere at every chance.

AWESOME!