Political Humor Comments Policy
In just over 4 years of blogging, I don’t think I have ever had an official comments policy listed on the site. As the site grows, I think it is time that I finally laid out some guidelines for commenting, that I will then add to the sidebar for easy reference.
First and foremost, this conservative humor and satire site is not in the public domain. It is my domain. I pay for it. It is not government (taxpayer) funded. You have exactly zero ownership of this site. It is my property.
This site is singular in it’s purpose and scope. It exists to amuse me. Furthermore, it is a political humor site. If you have no sense of humor, then this is probably the wrong place for you. Sometimes there are non-political humor items, and every once in a while, I will sprinkle in some straightforward political commentary, but mostly, it’s all humor and satire, which means many things get said for humorous effect, not because they are genuine, heartfelt positions on the issues. If this does not make sense to you, re-read the clause regarding no sense of humor.
I don’t have any delusions of persuading anyone to my point of view. I have found that the only people that are ever persuaded to change their mind on a position are the people that did not have a definitive point of view to begin with. All others simply go through life reinforcing their pre-existing beliefs and disregarding any and all evidence to the contrary.
Yes, that goes for me as well. In fact, I think it applies to everyone. And I will adamantly go through life seeking to reinforce that belief and disregard all data that indicates otherwise. This will then solidify my position that people don’t change their minds, thus proving me correct in my belief.
This blog is not a democracy. It is a brutal dictatorship where I rule with an iron fist. I have enlisted the support of a few fellow thugs to help fill out my insane tyrannical regime. There is Les James, who has a twisted and satirical view of the world, JumpOut who can inform you how not to get killed by the police – It just might save your life one day – and Chris Cameron, the best jack-of-all-trades humor writer I have ever read. I appreciate their contributions greatly, but their presence is still merely subject to my whims, and my own personal amusement.
So, when you leave a comment, there is one and only one standard by which it gets left unscathed, and unscarred by my lunatic dictatorship. That standard is the degree to which your comment amuses me. If it amuses me to edit your comment to make you look like a moron, that is exactly what I will do. In other cases I may decide to let your own inane attempt at communication stand to demonstrate that a wet towel is more intelligent than you are. The only factor that decides my action is my own fleeting moment of whimsy.
If this does not suit you, then by all means, go have your little tantrum. Soil your diaper and throw your teething ring in a fit of despair, crying about “censorship.” You are perfectly free to do so on one of your favorite sissy Liberal blogs. In fact, use links to point to examples of your mistreatment and oppression.
Do you think I’ve been writing this blog for 4 years because I give a s#1t what some opinionated cocknozzle thinks of me? If you do, you made a wrong turn somewhere into an alternate dimension. Hallucinogenic drugs can have a tendency to do that.
On a more serious note, here are a few things that are generally acceptable. Feel free to drop links in the comments. As long as it is not crap, and seems relevant to the content of the post, I will probably let it stand. This counts for links to commercial sites as well, so long as they adhere to the aforementioned standard of being not crap, and relevant to the content of the post.
Leave links to your own blogs that are related to the content and might be of interest to my visitors. It’s OK. I don’t mind. While some people think that you should buy them dinner, and invite them to your birthday party before you would ever deign to push a link towards yourself, I have no problem with it. You are too busy to become my friend before feeling comfortable with dropping links. Plus, I don’t want to be your friend. I’m an asshole, remember. Don’t let my aloofness fool you.
You can also use anchor text in the name field of the comments. For those that don’t know what this means, you can leave a comment as Bob’s Kitchen Appliances if you are linking to your kitchen appliances site. Based on the demographic of this site, and the niche it fills, it’s not very likely that my visitors will be interested in clicking through, but go ahead.
It would be much more likely that the visitors to this site would be likely to click through to Bob’s Comedy Emporium, but either way in the example, “Bob” is letting visitors know what to expect on the other side of the comment link. I consider this advance notice to be a user friendly practice, so I don’t mind.
Thus concludes my official comments policy. Go forth and enjoy amusing me. No, seriously. That’s an order.
More enjoyment! Or else! *shakes fist*
Category: Political Humor Tags: Comments Policy, Political Humor
2004–2012
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It must suck to be a cocknozzle.
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Who says the web isn’t educational? I’d never even heard of a cocknozzle before just then. It’s been a very educational week for me!
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OK.
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I come along and now you decide after four years to write down some rules. Coincidence? I don’t know how much of this is a put-one. You have some deep-seated authority issues. It started as a child, did it not? Now you resent your homosexual tendencies. Let them out and be free of this torment. Come out of the closet, Fiar. Move to the Bay Area. You will be welcomed with very opened arms.
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Haha…
http://www.popeterry666.blogspot.com/
cocknozzle… I think any policy is worth it if it contains that word.
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Steve, shouldn’t you be cleaning your basement apartment instead of commenting? Mom said to have it done by 2 o’clock after all.
Maybe if you hurry she’ll let you go to Starbucks after so you can blog for a bit.
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It does tend to make or break a policy, Alex.
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I’ve heard cocknozzle before, but I don’t remember where…. probably here, somewhere?
Dinner and birthday party aside, you have my undying love, Fiar.
~~~A fellow asshole
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George, You don’t have a masters in psychology, ok. Put down the refer, and Chip’s wiener, and step away.
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Is it not about time for you all to begin to understand that you are merely projecting your inner selves upon me? I am rubber you are glue. Look in the mirror and see me standing there. You are a very sad group in need of counseling.
I do not know who Chip is but Jumpout look in your own hand. You also seem to suffer from homophobia.
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Oooh, an Official Policy.
Official Policies are hilarious.
I especially like the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy.
At work, we have an Official Clean out the Fridge on Fridays Policy.
They have a way of solving just about any problem.
Well, now that that’s settled……
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I’m rubber you are glue?
Dude…
<——————playground
If you hurry you can catch up to your friends. Last one on the jungle gym is a rotten egg!
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Oh and Steve make sure you put away your toys before you go out to play with your little friends.
You don’t want your mom to get mad at you or you’ll get grounded again.
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Wait, did Mr. Intellectual just use “I’m rubber, you’re glue?” Seriously, the only purpose you serve in life is for other people to laugh at you. What a waste of oxygen you are, George. It seems you are the one who is projecting. You found us, remember.
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I was merely trying to reach down to your level and talk in a way you could more easily understand. I often search for people like you and your friends. I search for, then find them and help them better understand their own feelings where they can cast off their hatred and find peace with themselves and all of those around them.
At the end of the day, I go to bed feeling good about myself and what I have done to help the world be a kinder, gentler place.
How do you feel when you go to bed at night?
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Wait, so these people that you “help” are not seeking your assistance? You have to hunt them down? And that helps you sleep at night? (shudder)
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George, why do you take on this crusade? What makes your life so meaningless that you must give it meaning by finding people to “save”. If you truly understood psychology you would know that you can’t save people. People can only save themselves.
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Steve- If you’re trying to reach down to our level you have to at least say f^^k a few times. And maybe insult someones sexuality. Its just how we roll.
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Fitch,
That was totally hot!
BTW, it sucks that you even had to do a post like this. People really do suck sometimes.
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Comments increase the value of a blog to a marketer because they show a community. So thanks Steve for adding a dozen comments every post.
I’m sure Fiar goes to bed at night feeling very good about all the time you spend here leaving comments helping his bounce rates and length of stay stat. From a marketing standpoint those are two key things.
Hell the rest of us actually do as well because controversy in the comments always leads to increases in traffic, thus our content is seen by more eyeballs.
Gonna sleep like a baby Steve. Try not to stay up too late making comments.
Your mom also said to leave your laundry outside your basement bedroom door and she’ll do it for you in the morning.
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Of course they seek out those who need “help.”
If all else fails, they can file an application and petition, forcing a 72-hour hold on someone to be involuntarily hospitalized (in a secure unit) against their will; the “patient” gets a deferment hearing in front of the judge, who hears all the reasons the “patient” is a danger to himself and others and enters a 60/90-day treatment order – FORCING the “patient” to submit to medication.
If the “patient” fails to submit to “treatment,” even after discharge, THEY come knocking on the front door (with police) to take you BACK to the hospital, a nifty little syringe wielded and an injection given.
Then again, that is psychiatry at its finest. Psychology is an entirely different can of worms, a difference “Steve” obviously does not comprehend (“Masters” degree in psychology my ass. What-the-f^^k-ever).
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All deferential prostrations aside: I spew beverages through my nostrils at your humor.
Now, love ~my~ conservative satire:
Best,
Ian Ransom
Texas For Sarah Palin
The Ian Ransom Notes
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I spew beverages through my nostrils at your humor.
I bet you already have a Holy Grail, and it’s very nice.
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That video was really weird and creepy. Stop scaring us! hehe
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ROFL!!! tyvm Like you I have an opinion not often well recieved. If the terroist real idea is to make America go broke..is it working?
Did you have coffee this morning? Are you drinking?
Thanks for being honest
lubs iyq
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The terrorists’ goal is not to make us go broke. I don’t think they care about that part.
Their goal is to make us react to their actions.
Having to react to the opposition is a losing proposition because that means behavior is being dictated.
The problem is we are not doing the same, we are not dictating the behavior, and thus making them react where and when we want them to.
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In case any of you are liberals reading Chris’ last comment, I’ll break it down for you. Are we going to put up our guard after we get hit, or are we going to kick the living shit out of those who want to hit us, before they strike?
Are we going to risk the swift actions of passengers on planes to stop terrorist, or are we going to bloody them so badly that they decide the US is not a very good target?
I agree with the statement attributed to Arnau Amalric: Kill them all. let God sort them out.”
Oh, was the non-PC?
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Les,
You got the name right but the quote wrong. The phrase was first uttered in Carcassone, France in 1209 by Amalric who was the Papal Legate sent to oversee the Crusade against the Albigensian Heretics. When he was asked how to separate the faithful from the heretics eh reportedly said “Kill them all, for God will surely know his own.” I think you will agree that the original is much more poetic than the gutter grammar of sorting them out, no?
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I don’t know, I’m kind of a vulgar, at gutter level, kind of guy. I speak to the common man in his tongue. Besides, I found the attribution on the Internet so it must be correct.
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Oh Yeah, I forgot that everything on the intertubes is correct. My apologies. I should probably check Wikipedia more often.
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Screw Wikipedia! I have my own site to put stuff on and then claim that it MUST be true because it’s on the internet.