Sometimes Political Humor Starts With Crisis, Ends with History
The humor has surely left Wall Street but the political handouts have only just begun in the worst financial crisis since the savings and loan debacle nearly two decades ago. Had they listened to me and my discovery of a great new banking service that I talked about here on Radioactive Liberty awhile back all of this could have been avoided.
Let’s not kid around though. The financial crisis is so serious George Bush went on television Wednesday night claiming there were weapons of mass destruction in the economy and that if we don’t give absolute power to the government and go to war we will be nukified.
No kidding, he said nukified.
Bush did not mention sending the people who run AIG, Lehman Brothers, and the other financial corporations’ leaders to Gitmo for waterboarding however. It is a shame because torture never looked so appealing.
Of course the rest of our fine politicians with their strong leadership are stepping up to the plate. Congress took action, by-passing their recess to burn the midnight oil and solve this crisis:
“Rep. Jane Harman (D-Calif.) wants to stick around. ”I am recommending that Congress postpone its planned recess. We should stay here until we find the right answer to this problem,” she said.
“If it takes two or three weeks, that’s okay,” said Sen. Sherrod Brown (D-Ohio)”
It is funny that when we had $4-a-gallon gasoline, our elected leaders of the House and Senate didn’t postpone their break. Back then we were taking the financial hit of course and not their cronies on Wall Street. None of us have given millions to their campaigns.
Try breaking down all the payouts and handouts and donations that have gone on between the financial industry and our honest and caring leaders in Washington and it becomes a political version of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.
I can not blame the politicians though. I hear this time of year is bad to take a vacation anyway because the Hamptons are just swarming with leaf peepers. The beautiful people don’t want to want to deal with Nana and Grandpa plodding along in the Crown Victoria looking at trees. Besides, the politicians would have to actually be nice to them because old people are the most-likely demographic to vote.
On a side note, I am not sure I will be voting when I’m old. By that point why would I give a crap? Besides, old people aren’t good for elections simply because their reference points are in the past. They are always babbling on about how hamburgers were a nickel and during the Depression people ate their own shoes.
Speaking of the Great Depression, we need to elect Barack Obama.
Oh the fun you can have with a double entendre. But seriously, unlike Bush, Joe Biden would be the perfect person to go on television and help calm the frayed nerves of America like Franklin D. Roosevelt did in 1929. Really, it happened that way. Joe Biden said so.
He’d make a great history teacher by the way.
Chris Cameron writes this weekly drivel pretending to be a political humor column every Thursday here at Radioactive Liberty. You can also read his odd angles on life at his humor blog, Angry Seafood.
Humor-Blogs.com can’t stop licking it’s groin. Please got there to read funny blogs and make it stop. Kinda grossing me out.
More Conservative Political Humor
* The Secretary of the Treasury has an important message for the American people.
* Bush: Congress Must Act to Save Stupid People
* McCain to suspend campaign
Category: Political Humor Tags: Barack Obama, Bush Economic Speech, Financial Crisis, Financial Crisis Humor, Financial Crisis Parody, Joe Biden, Political Humor
2004–2012
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I was at Disneyland when FDR gave that speech but a friend of mine taped it for me. He’d used that VHS tape several times so the color wasn’t very good but the commentary afterwords by Dan Rather was compelling.
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Stand up FDR! God love ya, what am I talking about? Stand up for FDR!
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So who makes more gaffes while speaking, Biden or Obama?
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Fiar – the winner of the gaffes award is none other than Dubya. What are the nightshow comedians going to do without his stammering, stumbling, fake words sound bites come January?
Anyway, the wall street community knows that we have the best congress money can buy.
And buy they have. And it is paying off handsomely – they are getting bailed out of their own greedy mismanagement.
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You’ve got to be kidding. Obama makes Bush look like Albert f^^king Einstein by comparison.
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I don’t know, dave. Obama will give them plenty of material. What they choose to do with it is their business I guess.
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Let’s see, I’ve been to 57 states, punished with a baby, just keep your tire pressure right and we’ll save as much oil as drilling would ever produce, not knowing whether he is in Kansas City or St. Louis, the president takes over in 40 days from now, President for the next 8-10 years, and this guy isn’t even ELECTED yet. Imagine what 8-10 years of him as President will produce.
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Don’t forget Congressman Barney Frank’s role in all of this. He’s been involved in more backdoor shenanigans…
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:rimshot:
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“the winner of the gaffes award is none other than Dubya. ”
Look Bush was a very crappy President but one thing he is good at is clarification of the meaning of his words. How many times have both Prez candidates say the words “what I meant was”?
Bush rarely has to explain himself. Unlike Obama, Bush does speak to people on our level not some elitist one. He wouldn’t have won twice if he didn’t.
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I’m using functification as often as possible this week.
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Obama and McCain always have brilliant ways of deciding what to do in times of great crisis:
Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama today told a hastily assembled St. Louis, Missouri news conference that his experience as a community organizer made him “uniquely qualified” to solve the nation’s banking crisis.
“My time organizing poor folks in the streets of Chicago, combined with my months of service in the U.S. Senate,” Obama told reporters, “shows me exactly what needs to be done to solve our banking crisis.”
Obama laid out a three-point plan for ending the crisis.
“First,” he began, “I’d get all the people affected by the crisis into one room to see what their concerns were. I know a lot of people were affected, so we’d probably need a big room.
“Second,” he continued, “I’d put all of their concerns on a yellow pad, and then I’d concentrate on their issues, along with a bunch of really smart people who have a background solving banking crisis issues, and come up with a plan.
“And finally,” he said, “I would enlist the support of the American people to rally around the plan and end the banking crisis. Together, we can solve the banking crisis.”
Meanwhile, Republican Presidential candidate John McCain today told a hastily assembled Denver, Colorado news conference that his experience as a Vietnam war hostage made him “uniquely qualified” to solve the nation’s banking crisis.
“My time trapped in a small prison cell in Hanoi, combined with my years of service in the U.S. Senate,” McCain told reporters, “shows me exactly what needs to be done to solve our banking crisis.”
McCain laid out a three-point plan for ending the crisis.
“First,” he began, “I’d get all the people affected by the crisis into one room to see what their concerns were. I know a lot of people were affected, so we’d probably need a big room.
“Second,” he continued, “I’d put all of their concerns on a yellow pad, and then I’d concentrate on their issues, along with a bunch of really smart people who have a background solving banking crisis issues, and come up with a plan.
“And finally,” he said, “I would enlist the support of the American people to rally around the plan and end the banking crisis. Together, we can solve the banking crisis.”
At both news conferences, when pressed for details about the nature of the plan that would emerge from the three-step approach, each candidate offered a terse “No comment.”
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This bail-out package sounds just like those e-mails from Kenya promising me a share of some vague future earnings if I will just turn over my bank account number today.
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Jr, I linked this at the bottom of the post, but you should definitely check this out,
http://www.nicedoggie.net/2008/?p=2131
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Celebghost, that sounds about right.
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Les, VHS was’t around back then. It was Beta. Jeez, man, get a grip.
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[...] a third term as President. Citing the “financifical crisis” causing this major “functification” in the market he changed his earlier support of the Twenty-second Amendment to the US [...]
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[...] affiliation with ACORN, Obama’s “Spread the wealth” quote to Joe the Plumber, and Joe Biden promising catastrophe within the first six month’s of a President Obama [...]