Fidel Castro Resigns
Cuban Dictator Fidel Castro has officially retired from the Presidency of Cuba. Despite having been dead for well over a year, Castro’s reign continued, until Tuesday, when the announcement was made that Fidel Castro would be resigning.
“I am saying that I will neither aspire to nor accept, I repeat, I will neither aspire to nor accept the positions of President of the State Council and Commander in Chief,” Castro, 81, said in a letter posted on the Web site of the state-run newspaper, Granma.
Castro’s last public appearance was on Cuban television in September of 2007, where he was accompanied by Johnathan Silverman and Andrew McCarthy.
Photoshop by Doug Ross
Fidel Castro is most widely known for demolishing the economy of Cuba and turning the country into a Communist Hell. Every year, Cuban citizens escape from the would-be tropical paradise, to try and find a better life in nearby Miami, Florida. Castro grabbed the dictatorship in 1959 and has been slowly strangling Cuba to death for nearly 50 years.
Bay of Pigs
The inept Kennedy Administration funded armed Cuban Exiles in an invasion of Cuba in April of 1961, in an attempt to overthrow the Castro regime. Castro dubbed the invasion Bay of Pigs because it was funded by “Capitalist Pigs.” A lesser know reason for the name Bay of Pigs Invasion, is that the rallying cry of the rebel forces was, “We will overthrow Castro - when pigs fly!”
They ought to have had the rallying cry, “Bacon!®”
As an Encore to the Bay of Pigs, the Kennedy Administration nearly botched the Cuban Missile Crisis as well, but luck was on JFK’s side… Well, until he got killed.
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2004–2008
7 responses so far ↓
1 Wyatt Earp // Feb 19, 2008 at 3:33 pm
“Bacon!®” would have won the Bay of Pigs, the Vietnam War, and my hockey game Sunday night.
2 Fred // Feb 19, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Not to nitpic but 1959 to 2008 is nearly 50 years. More of a stretch to almost 60 by a decade.
3 rt // Feb 19, 2008 at 6:09 pm
If Castro had bacon, he’d be alive right now.
4 Alex L // Feb 20, 2008 at 1:36 am
Damn JFK, getting all the luck.
5 Chris C // Feb 20, 2008 at 12:12 pm
@Fred: No, the world destiny is that Castro is supposed to rule until nearly 2019. His brother, who wanted to overthrow his sibling for years foiled the plan and now we have to go back in time and correct it or Micheal J. Fox gets Parkinson’s disease.
6 Fiar // Feb 20, 2008 at 3:08 pm
It seems like just yesterday, Castro had ruled for 59 years, and now, today, it was only 49. Where did the time go.
7 Harris Bloom // Feb 20, 2008 at 7:13 pm
hey radioactive,
Castro’s had the most successful posthumous career since 2Pac.
rock on,
aitch
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