Political Humor | Putting Lipstick on the Pig of Miscellany

Like most bloggers who actually write stuff, there are lots of unfinished and short political humor pieces I can’t really do anything with except bunch them all together and try to make them look pretty.

Unlike most bloggers, I won’t use stupid or corny catch-phrases to describe this. Seriously, would it be so hard to give the damn thing a decent title? Would it require too much effort to at least try to make some kind of transition between the different pieces?

It would? I feel the same way. Moving on…

Hurry Up Sinbad

You have twelve minutes of fame left to make a comeback. Since you were named a source in Hillary Clinton’s ‘mis-speak’ on her trip to Bosnia in 1996, you have been in the news. You might have to rob a liquor store or die to get this mentioned again in the media.

Milk it now Sinbad because your other publicity options don’t look very good long-term.

Scary Plane Ride

So imagine being on a plane and the pilot’s gun goes off? Everyone would think terrorists and rush the cockpit. This is a lot like the other day when I arrived at work. It was very windy and a helicopter was traveling across the sky. But it was really low to the ground, and kind of wobbling like it was going to crash.

I began to panic because if it did crash it would fall on me and my car. Thoughts ran through my head… ‘Great I haven’t even ordered my shift meal yet’ and ‘God damnit! I just mailed out my final car payment!’ When things like these happen most people have survival running through their head, but not me. I see the irony which in this case, would end up killing me.

I won’t even say it.

But the helicopter never crashed. It simply meandered across the sky and eventually out of sight. I know because I watched it. I don’t wish harm on anyone, but I would not want to miss seeing a helicopter crash.

Gorebal Warmers at It AGAIN

A new study says curbing soot emissions would help slow global warming. Interesting because thirty years ago, they suggested we spread soot all over the Artic ice to warm up the planet during the last cold spell.

Aren’t we tired of the ‘they’ people? Aren’t we sick of ‘they’ telling us for the last forty years the planet has been dying. Yet the reasons change every half a decade? First it was overpopulation. Then it was pollution. Then it was food production ability. Then it was Ozone. Then the oceans were dying.

It was Global Cooling before it was Global Warming.

Now the world-killer is climate change which can mean freaking anything. The temperature at noon yesterday was like twenty degrees higher then at ten pm, should we call Al Gore?

Don’t bother because he won’t answer. He is too busy taking one of his private jets to a far-away locale to preach how the system he got rich on is no good for the rest of us.

Hillary/Pig picture courtesy of Anti-Hillary Stuff. Global Warming cartoon courtesy of Red Planet Cartoons.

Chris Cameron writes this weekly drivel of political humor here every Thursday. You can also read his odd and ranty humor at his blog Angry Seafood.

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