Political Humor | Hillary Clinton Turns to Her Last Hope

With her chances for winning the Democratic nomination slipping away, Hillary Clinton finally turns to the only one who can help her…

Not you Neo. Although politics sometimes seems like The Matrix, your powers do not extend to Washington D.C.

Hillary finally turns to the one person who can help her beat Obama…

Don Corleone: Why did you go to the DNC? Why didn’t you come to me first?

Hillary: What do you want of me? Tell me anything, but do what I beg you to do.

Don Corleone: What is that?

[Hillary gets up and whispers in the Don's ear]

Don Corleone: That I cannot do.

Hillary: I’ll give you anything you ask.

Don Corleone: We’ve known each other for many years but this is the first time you’ve ever come to me for counsel or for help. I can’t remember the last time you invited me to the White House for a cup of coffee, even though my wife is Godmother to your only child. But, let’s be frank here. You never wanted my friendship and you were afraid to be in my debt.

Hillary: I didn’t want to get into trouble. My husband was running for President.

Don Corleone: I understand. You found paradise in the Rose Law Firm and Washington. You had a good trade, made a good living, the liberals protected you and there were courts of law and you didn’t need a friend like me. But, now you come to me and you say “Don Corleone, give me justice.” But you don’t ask with respect. You don’t offer friendship. You don’t even think to call me Godfather. Instead, you come into my home on the day my daughter’s to be married and you ask me to do political murder for money.

Hillary: I ask you for justice.

Don Corleone: That is not justice that is a Presidential election.

Hillary: Let him suffer then. As the voters suffer. How much shall I pay you?

Don Corleone: Hillary. Hillary. What have I ever done to make you to treat me so disrespectfully. If you had come to me in friendship then this scum that ruined your political hopes would be suffering this very day. And if by chance an honest woman like yourself should make enemies then they would become my enemies. And then, they would fear you.

Hillary: Be my friend… Godfather.

[kisses Don Corleone's ring]

Don Corleone: Good. Someday, and that day may never come, I’ll call upon you to do a service for me. But, until that day, accept this justice as a gift on my daughter’s wedding day.

Hillary: Grazie, Godfather.

Don Corleone: Bene.

A month later…

Chris Cameron is a writer and columnist for Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty. He also has his own blog of odd and strange humor at Angry Seafood.

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