Political Humor | Why I Non-Endorse John McCain for President

Barack Obama has been officially endorsed by Radioactive Liberty as the 2008 Presidential candidate. That revelation is missing something however. It is important that our readers know who to not vote for as well.

That man is John McCain who I officially non-endorse for President and this is why.

John McCain has had cancer issues

This may seem unfair, but hear me out. We all know someone who has battled the disease and the physical and mental toll it takes. How the hell can someone deal with that and be President?

I can see it now…

“Sir, it’s Iran again.”
“God Damn it. Ok, put them through.”
“Listen Mr. Aja-I don’t care what your name is, I just had a chemo session and I’ve already puked five times this morning so your deal to avoid sanctions better be fucking good.”

John McCain is a white male

It just isn’t trendy to elect a white male anymore. People are into ethnicity these days, and different kinds of genders, like transsexuals and metrosexuals. The Democrats love those two groups, by the way, because of their indecisiveness inability to deal with the fact that they are homosexual. It’s easy to sway someone’s opinion when their own sense of self worth is all across the board.

This is why John McCain sounds like a Democrat. He’s trying to position himself as ethnic and hip to pander to the votes of minorities.

John McCain is really old

Maybe it is a testament to the fact we live longer. As our life expectancy has increased so has the age of our leaders. Back in the ancient world, countries and governments were run by teenagers. Imagine a bratty sixteen-year-old with anger issues as President and you can see why history is so full of wars and conflict. But you don’t want to go too far to the other end of the age scale either.

John McCain was in The ‘Nam

I saw Apocalypse Now and Full Metal Jacket. People did a lot of drugs over there in the Vietnam War and a lot of Vets are nuts, thanks to the lack of mental health help from the government. They fought a war that was so messed-up even the name was weird: a ‘conflict’. It also didn’t help getting treated like a losing soccer team when they finally came home.

For all we know, McCain could suddenly snap at a press conference yelling something about some guy named Charlie coming to get us. Then he grabs one of the secret service agent’s guns and runs into the closet.

So this election, vote with your heart and if you have to pick a man with the letters j-o-h-n-m-c-c-a-i-n in the name at least write-in this guy…

Chris Cameron writes this guest post of political humor every Thursday here at Radioactive Liberty and also assorted oddities for his own blog, Humor by Angry Seafood.

Humor-blogs.com does not even know who’s running for President. But you can vote for the funniest blogs. Not really but go there anyways.

Yes, I know it’s actually John McClane that was the Die Hard character, but that’s just how we roll at Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty. Yippee Kay-ay motherfucker.

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