What’s the State of the Union?
Pretty much everything we’ve expected has happened so far in the Presidential elections. We are down to the two we figured would be there on each side, and once again we had an early leader’s popularity drop faster than the hype for the new Batman movie.
Today is the anniversary of the execution of Guy Fawkes, and the day after the last Republican debate before Super Tuesday. So what a perfect time it would be for Ron Paul to announce he’s dropping out of the race. I don’t think it will happen because he has the funding to hang around as long as he wants. He’s obviously buying his way into the debates.
Why the hell are people dropping out anyway? There are still like a gazillion delegates at stake. I hope John Edwards and Rudy Guiliani are not reacting to the polls because we know how accurate the polls have been so far.
What the hell happened to Guliani? He went from the leader to the recipient of the fabulous home version of the election contest quicker than Amy Winehouse ruined her career. This is what happens when you throw your hat into the ring but don’t actually run for office. At least he left with his dignity unlike another politician in 2004.
Death by Super Bowl
Howard Dean is obviously excited by the fact that the Super Bowl is this weekend, but did you know it can give you a heart attack? That’s right. According to the Chicago Tribune, being a die-hard sports fan can be hazardous to your health. Personally, I think they polled the heavy gamblers.
Speaking of gambling, it was nice to see the World Economic Forum not address ways to help make the US economy’s downturn a soft landing for the rest of the world. Instead they asked YouTubers for suggestions. Great move there.
Bonehead Bono and Jerkoff Chertoff
Bono was one of the celebrities who weighed in on the issue and opened with this line: “Hi my name is Bono and I’m a rock star sort of” while simultaneously giving a humbling facial gesture. Come frigging on! We know who the hell you are, and acting that way is just that. An act.
But the winner was Michael Chertoff who had his rose-colored glasses on with his reply: “if you use common sense to these problems you can solve them without violence.” He was referring to Islamic extremists affecting world trade.
Chris Cameron is a weekly guest writer for Political Humor by Radioactive Liberty. Visit Humor by Angry Seafood for more of his odd and usually-funny writing.
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2004–2008
5 responses so far ↓
1 Fiar // Jan 31, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Do you mean to imply that YouTubers aren’t a reliable source of expert advice? If so, do I need to re-evaluate my business plan?
2 Howard // Jan 31, 2008 at 5:15 pm
But did Guy Fawkes deserve to die? He was only after a little attention and possibly destroy aristocracy. No biggie.
And what the hell did happen to Guil— Juleeo– Jeweleeee—
Nevermind. It’s because people couldn’t spell his name.
3 Chris C // Jan 31, 2008 at 10:04 pm
@Fiar: Of course they are. There is no way YouTube is being exploited for publicity by people like those that run the WEF.
What I find funny is how many people buy into this crap. It’s a video meme lol.
@Howard: That might have something to do with it. I see this one being a big thesis topic for years to come.
4 BobG // Feb 1, 2008 at 12:28 am
KITTENS! YAR!
5 Alex L // Feb 1, 2008 at 7:20 am
Who ever heard of a problem being solved without violence…
The blogger formerly known as Pope Terry.
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