Political Humor | Kohler vs. American Standard

It’s a battle royal between two giants in porcelain bath fixtures. American Standard –the K Mart of this industry – has tossed its hat in the ring and taken on Kohler. Kohler –long regarded as the high-end leader in this competitive market- never seriously considered that there might be competition.

For years Kohler assumed that they would be the throne that the next president would sit upon, having been in the White House before.

American Standard announced Thursday that they have been heavily lobbying Clinton, McCain, and Obama since late last year and would continue to do so until this November.

Their position is that it’s time for a change and they continue to have high hopes for this election.

A Kohler spokesman said American Standard simply would not be ready on day one to handle the flow. They maintain that this upstart wouldn’t even understand the basic paperwork involved in the Presidential Retreat, but might be ready for a secondary placement.

None of the three candidate’s campaigns would offer official statements, but off the record comments indicated that both McCain and Clinton supported Kohler and would likely prefer their throne in a white to beige color.

The Obama camp, while tight-lipped, seem to indicate that American Standard would be their candidate’s choice, but no color preference was given. The one place where they all could agree was that in had to be an environmentally friendly low water consumption model.

However, Obama’s pastor -in a sermon given last October- stated that no white fixtures should be a part of the Black Experience. Obama’s campaign refused comment, but did say that they would be issuing further apologies for Pastor Wright.

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