Political Humor | Politics: The Culture of Corruption

I want to revisit a post from July 13, 2005, where I state that I was sick of politics, and outlined a “litmus test” for someone to get my vote. I would like to amend my previous list of requirements, although I continue to stand by them.

Here’s the previous set of questions:

1. Have you ever held any political office?
2. Do you know what CAFTA is?
3. Do you know who Karl Rove is?
4. Do you know who Howard Dean is?
5. Is it fair or unfair to characterize people who set off bombs in subway, and train stations as “Terrorists?”

If the respondent answers “No” to the first four, and “fair” to number 5, you get my vote. I don’t care who you are, what you do for a living, what kind of education you have, or what race, sex, religion, national origin, or whatever you are. You are not a political hack. You get my vote. You will rule by character, virtue, and common sense, not by pols, or what it takes to get re-elected. You have my vote. You’ll do a better job that the boneheads that are there now.

Now I would like to add a few questions to this regime. I’m not big on issues, or minutae, if you haven’t already guessed. I basically have a political philosophy, and so I will target an even better candidate with these few questions.

1. Do you think the government should just mostly keep the hell out of our lives?
2. Do you want to keep the borders secure?
3. Do you believe in a strong national defense?

These questions should all be answered yes. The beauty of it is that either of these tests do pretty well on their own, but together they form the perfect candidate. A person that doesn’t give a crap about political minutae, or getting re-elected, but holds a similar political philosophy to the average person.

One more thing. When I hear the phrase “Culture of Corruption,” I don’t think of a specific party, I think of politicians in general. I’d like my candidate to share that belief as well. Corruption is not partisian, it’s the result of being in a position of power too long, unchecked.