An open letter to our Beloved Leader, Barack Hussein Obama
Dear President Obama,
With all due respect, what is it about the polls you don’t get? The majority of people, including me, think you’re on the wrong track. Please try a different one. Maybe Amtrak.
Your failed policies of the past (year) are giving me hemorrhoids. Don’t worry, I don’t expect you to respect me in the morning, and the check (for my taxes) is in the mail. That being said, what I really want you to hear is no.
No, I don’t want higher taxes. Duh! Even if Vice-President Biden thinks it’s patriotic.
No, I don’t want Obama Care. Keep your fingers out of my wife’s reproductive organs.
No, I don’t want Cap and Trade. Or as I like to call it, Crap and Tirade.
No, I don’t want socialism. I don’t care what 53% of Democrats say.
No, I don’t want terrorists tried in civilian courts. I want them shot. I’ll even pull the trigger.
No, I don’t want bigger government. Not everything is better when bigger, despite what Michelle says.
No, I don’t what you to stimulate me again. I didn’t want pork-barreled in the first place. You forced me against my will.
Mr President, no, no, no and no. Do you know what that means? No means no!
Look, I’ll understand if you don’t want to stand in front of a train, but could you please get on one? Might I suggest one heading for Venezuela. I think you’ll feel right at home there.
Sincerely,
Les James
2004–2010
12 responses so far ↓
1
Wyatt Earp
// Feb 14, 2010 at 11:32 am
Well, America asked for it. Look at the way it’s dressed!
2
Les James
// Feb 14, 2010 at 1:00 pm
You’re right Wyatt. American’s wanted it. They all want it.
Hey Eric. Look, pitchers!
3
Eric
// Feb 14, 2010 at 3:46 pm
Cool, pitchers!
4
SinisterDan
// Feb 14, 2010 at 4:09 pm
Americans and socialism, you guys make me giggle…
But it does beg the question of why a guy who campaigned so blatantly to polls now ignores them?
I smell a Jimmy Carter in the making.
5
Les James
// Feb 14, 2010 at 7:49 pm
Wyatt, Eric and Dan on the same day? Must be Valentine’s Day.
6
SinisterDan
// Feb 14, 2010 at 7:55 pm
Nah, I just came back from winter slumber to write again.
You know what I’m like.
7
Fiar
// Feb 18, 2010 at 5:42 pm
You forgot to include the ordering information on the rape whistle. How are we supposed to make sales if you keep forgetting to direct our customers to the order form?
8
Les James
// Feb 18, 2010 at 7:15 pm
I keep forgetting. Was that the old order form, or The New Order?
9
Fiar
// Feb 18, 2010 at 9:17 pm
That depends on whether it is to be delivered by black helicopter or UPS.
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