It’s always great to be able to get the scoop that no one else can, and it is with ego-swelling pleasure I bring to you this exclusive interview with Fidel Castro. There has been much speculating lately on why both Fidel and Raul have been absent from the public arena since the reins of power in Cuba were handed to the Dictator’s brother. Perhaps, as we dig beneath the veneer, we will learn just what has been going on with the brothers Castro.
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RL: There have been numerous pundits speculating that you may, in fact, be dead already. How do you respond to that?
Castro: Obviously that is absurd. Here I am, offering this interview.
RL: So, you would take the position that you are not dead?
Castro: No. I am not dead.
RL: Clearly. What would you say to those who believe that you are dead.
Castro: Not only am I not dead, I now have found that I possess great super powers.
RL: Can you describe these super powers?
Castro: I have the power of invisibility, and I can also pass through solid objects. I can go right through walls. It is amazing.
RL: Indeed. Some might suggest that these are not super powers, but rather, the result of you being dead, and thus, having no corporeal being.
Castro: I don’t know how many times we must go over this. I am not dead!
RL: Fair enough. Where’s your brother been?
Castro: Raul has been a wonderful brother to me. He has been by my side all this time.
RL: So he’s dead too then?
Castro: I have had enough! We are not dead! This interview is over!
RL: I’m happy to hear that because interviewing a dead guy was getting kind of creepy.
Castro: I AM NOT DEAD!
RL: You’re starting to sound like a broken record. Thanks for your time.
–
So there you have it folks, the Radioactive Liberty Exclusive interview with Fidel Castro.
**
Trackbacked on Mudville Gazette, Point Five
2004–2008
7 responses so far ↓
1
STP
// Aug 10, 2006 at 6:30 am
There are three words I have been dying to hear my whole life.
“Fidel Castro’s dead.”
2
von
// Aug 10, 2006 at 8:03 am
In other news, a new law has been passed that states that anyone who claims Castro is dead will promptly have his hands and penis removed for them. If there is no said penis, due to either past crime, or being a woman, then the subjects ears will be taken from their head.
3
Insolublog
// Aug 10, 2006 at 10:02 am
Does this mean Castro can now register to vote for the Democrat candidate for president?
4
isiah
// Aug 14, 2006 at 11:53 pm
one day some guy in cuba will light up an old cigar that he found in his attic. The cigar will explode killing him or just really ruining his day. Then the world will know that the CIA really did try to do it.
5
FIAR
// Aug 15, 2006 at 12:02 am
Dammit! *I* smoked that cigar!
6 FIDEL CASTRO IS DEAD? Cuba And Miami “ablaze with rumors” — Passionate America // Aug 26, 2007 at 4:09 pm
[...] FIAR has Exclusive: Castro Interview. [...]
7
John
// May 5, 2008 at 9:41 am
To STP: why do you feel the need to flaunt your ignorance like that? Is there some silly TV show in the States that selects on moron-content, that you’re applying for? “Bush is finally gone” would surely suit a whole lot more people, but in the end, as long as you people vote for capitalist warmongers, even your own lives are in danger. Same for FIAR, by the way. You’re so not funny.
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