[...] Dictator Fidel Castro has officially retired from the Presidency of Cuba. Despite having been dead for well over a year, Castro’s reign continued, until Tuesday, when the announcement was made [...]

To STP: why do you feel the need to flaunt your ignorance like that? Is there some silly TV show in the States that selects on moron-content, that you’re applying for? “Bush is finally gone” would surely suit a whole lot more people, but in the end, as long as you people vote for capitalist warmongers, even your own lives are in danger. Same for FIAR, by the way. You’re so not funny.

[...] FIAR has Exclusive: Castro Interview. [...]

Dammit! *I* smoked that cigar!

one day some guy in cuba will light up an old cigar that he found in his attic. The cigar will explode killing him or just really ruining his day. Then the world will know that the CIA really did try to do it.

Does this mean Castro can now register to vote for the Democrat candidate for president?

In other news, a new law has been passed that states that anyone who claims Castro is dead will promptly have his hands and penis removed for them. If there is no said penis, due to either past crime, or being a woman, then the subjects ears will be taken from their head.

There are three words I have been dying to hear my whole life.

“Fidel Castro’s dead.”