This week’s Political Humor Quick Hits is about shovels, jobs, and crooked gay people…

The Shovel Industry Will Save The Economy

Joe Biden came up with a funny idea for saving the economy on the government’s new humor website, The Recovery Act:

“We’re gonna get more dollars in the hands of people, are going to be turning shovels in the ground.”

Joe might not know a thing about history but the son of a bitch knows economic recovery.

Shovels!

This will be huge. Pretty soon, shovel factories will open up all across America. Steel mills will reopen to provide raw materials. Lowes and Home Depot will teach classes on proper hole-making. Brigades of shovelers will go from community to community digging up the ground.

I even had to create a new word, “shovelers” just to describe all this economic recovery.

The United States of America will be shovel-ready in 100 days. Obama promised.

Still Trying to Find Those 150,000 Jobs

They must be around here somewhere right?

The economy has shed 1.6 million jobs since the stimulus measure was signed in February, far overshadowing White House announcements estimating the effort has saved 150,000 jobs.

Can you picture Obama and Biden being told the jobs are hidden somewhere in the White House? One of them is looking under the rugs, another under the couches.

Perhaps they should check the bucket.

Calling Yourself Straight Means Calling Gay People Crooked

In Vermont they just wrapped up a high school student social gender identity program or something stupid like that.

One student had this cognitive analysis:

“I’m straight, but I don’t like using that word because then it feels like if you’re gay then you’re crooked, you’re not meant to grow up in a certain way,” Sophia Manzi, 15, a Burlington high school freshman, said during this year’s final “Gendertopia” meeting.

I wonder what hippie message board she got that line from.

But it isn’t about sexuality, according to Christopher Neff, the executive director of Outreach Vermont and group running Genderpalooza:

“We’re really clear that gender and gender identify is separate from sexual orientation,” Neff said. “Hugh Grant and Russell Crowe have the same sex, they’re both male and they’re both heterosexual. But they have very different gender presentations. One is sort of seen as much more masculine than the other.”

Yeah one guy fights people and trashes hotel lobby telephones. The other can’t marry a woman fast enough before he’s fooling around with another one.

I guess I could see why Neff prefaced the concept with “sort of“, especially when talking about people who pretend to be other people for a living.

Bonus points for saying it is not about sexuality then using it in the analogy.

There is no truth to the rumor however that Richard Simmons was scheduled to speak at Genderblenderfestaloozatopia.

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Political Humor Quick Hits is a weekly commentary on the news/current events written by Chris Cameron every Tuesday. You can also read his other weekly column here every week as well as his humor blog Angry Seafood.

Category: Political Humor Tags: Barack Obama, Economic Humor, Economic Recovery, Economy, Humour, Joe Biden, Political Humor, President Obama