Political Humor |

This week’s lucky thirteen edition of Political Humor Quick Hits is about global warming, gang genes, and women as sexual objects…

Glacier Story Sums up our Knowledge of Earth’s Climate

Scientists can’t figure out why Argentina’s Perito Moreno glacier did not get the memo about climate change:

Argentina’s Perito Moreno glacier is one of only a few ice fields worldwide that have withstood rising global temperatures…

Look at those rising temperatures*. Like the “great minds” of our time I can’t understand why glaciers are not melting either.

But wait there is more:

“We’re not sure why this happens,” said Andres Rivera, a glacialist with the Center for Scientific Studies in Valdivia, Chile. “But not all glaciers respond equally to climate change.”

Don’t let any of this diminish your faith in the scientific community however.

See, the problem was the occurrence of a blue moon last year and everyone knows that means it is in a tighter orbit around our planet.

The closer proximity of the moon to the Earth, combined with an abundance of CO2 in the atmosphere led to cooler temperatures in Argentina which in turn led to an increase in the glacier size.

Or just make up your own ridiculous nonsensical reason. Works for the hack scientists and politicians right?

Warrior Gene Increases Likelihood of Joining Gangs

No really it does:

Boys who have a so-called “warrior gene” are more likely to join gangs and also more likely to be among the most violent members and to use weapons, a new study finds.

Another study with similar results cited in the story had an interesting test:

“Over networked computers, 78 test subjects were asked to cause physical pain to an opponent they believed had taken money from them by administering varying amounts of hot sauce.”

Leave it to the liberals to create such a dumb experiment. Don’t give the test subjects an actual weapon like a knife or a gun.

Give them hot sauce instead because that brings out the animal nature of man. Did the McIlhenny Company, makers of TABASCO pay for the study?

Seriously though, we really need to take heed of this problem. Not only will the warrior gene lead to gang  membership but so much more…

People with the warrior gene might join a gang and end up going to Central Park with all the other gangs for a big meeting. Some leader will get shot and their gang will be blamed for it. They will then be forced to fight their way back to their turf on Coney Island.

See what I mean? Stuff like this could happen. Take heed!

Quote of the Week

Janell Snowden, VH-1 Correspondent on Campbell Brown last week offering her take on Letterman’s Palin jokes:

Is she or is she not the woman who posed in a bikini? I think she has, like Jeff said, sort of made herself fair game.”

So is Janell now out of the running for the role of Cheryl Araujo in a remake of The Accused? Just a hunch.

This, by the way reminds me of the classic Point-Counterpoint scene in Airplane…

“Shanna, they bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say, let ‘em crash.”

* Temperatures from the graph are based on the mean deviations from 1998-2008 converted to temperatures (mean deviation+mean=temperature). Deviations are from the Hadley Centre for Climate Prediction and Research.

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Political Humor Quick Hits is a weekly commentary on the news/current events written by Chris Cameron every Tuesday. You can also read his other weekly column here every week as well as his own humor blog Angry Seafood.